Monday, June 20, 2011

Muffin Math.

I thought I had reached the bottom of this muffin thing at church, but I guess... I was wrong.

This is third in the muffin saga.
This is continued from It's a Conspiracy.

It turns out, the muffin drama just gets more interesting everyday, to the point where there is no conclusion to the juicy muffin gossip that I can't resist blogging about!
"The story starts when it was hot and it was summer and..."
Well, it was pretty warm out and I felt great. Summer had just unofficially begun, and I was at a friend's house for LifeGroups to go swimming. I had completely ditched the Youth LifeGroup to go to this, and it was fun!

I went inside the house before getting in the water to swim so that I could get something to eat. But anyway, I'm getting ahead of myself. So, I went inside to get some food and the adults had started talking. One of the adults (don't remember which one) had begun talking about this particular muffin problem that turned into a full conversation.

I didn't stay for long, but he said: "Muffins are just as unhealthy as donuts! I bet two muffins equal one donut".

They all began laughing. Did I believe him??? NO! Muffins are tiny. But, would you believe me if I said he was actually (almost) right?

"Why can't I even figure it out???"
In Sunday School yesterday, one of the teachers, Britney (she's the one that inspired this series of muffin posts because she's very interested in this thing too), said that the church has been receiving muffin complaints lately, so Christal M. (the person who normally gets the church's donuts and now muffins) looked up the difference between muffins and donuts.

Let's do the classic muffin math:

           3 muffins
       +  Orange juice
1 donut with coffee.

"[Three] muffins equal one donut", Britney quoted. Isn't that amazing? The haters are right--- we might as well be eating Krispy Creme.

Wanna know what I think???
I would like to see the church stop serving breakfast food altogether. When they were serving donuts, people were complaining that they were stale. Now that they're serving muffins, people are complaining that they aren't any healthier and they aren't as much of a treat as donuts were. So what do I think? I think that if people won't be grateful about what the church is serving, I'd like to see nothing on the breakfast tables. Show the people that if they're gonna constantly complain, <3 that's what you get <3.

"Sometimes we live for no one but ourselves."
-Relient K, Forgiven

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