Friday, September 30, 2011

Gone, Gone, Gone, Gone!

Gone (not on Deas Vail's upcoming self-titled album. However, it is available, ALBUM ONLY, on iTunes in the Split EP with Farewell Flight.)

Ah, ah, ah.
Ah, ah, ah.

Pouring out the judgment from my eyes.
I'm pulling all the pride from my mind.
I'm finding all the pieces of my life
When I didn't do things even close to right.

Ah, ah, ah.

Digging out the deep thorns from my hands
And trying not to hide all my wounds again.
You don't ever let me let You down
Because this isn't all about me now.
You keep sending letters
Trying to make it better!

Gone, Gone, Gone, Gone.
I'm the one who did You
Wrong, wrong, wrong and You couldn't help but love me,
Even if I was that bad.

I don't wanna start all over again,
I think it's time to see that this cycle ends.
Looking from the point where I come from,
I can finally understand what I've done! Oh!

Gone, Gone, Gone, Gone.
I'm the one who did You
Wrong, wrong, wrong and You couldn't help but love me,
Even if I was that bad.
Take, take, take, take.
I deserve to fall and break, break, break.
Say anything that would destroy me, but You didn't give me that.

I fell off the tight rope and into the fire,
I'm fortunate enough to be Your desire again.
Come easy, so easy.
You followed me down in the darkness of me and You brought me out of it, and taught me the love of a friend
So heavy, so heavy.

Gone, Gone, Gone, Gone.
I'm the one who did You
Wrong, wrong, wrong and You couldn't help but love me,
Even if I was that bad.
Take, take, take, take.
I deserve to fall and break, break, break.
Say anything that would destroy me, but You didn't give me that.
You didn't give me...

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Doctor Worm!

Doctor Worm

They call me Doctor Worm.
Good morning, how are you? I'm Doctor Worm.
I'm interested in things...
I'm not a real doctor but I
Am a real worm, I am an actual worm.
I live like a worm.

I like to play the drums.
I think I'm getting good, but I can handle criticism.
I'll show you what I know and you can
Tell me if you think I'm getting better on the drums.
I'll leave the front unlocked 'cause I can't hear the doorbell!

When I get into it, I can't tell if you are watching me twirling the spin.
When I give the signal, my friend Rabbi Warne will play the solo.

[Rabbi Warne's solo]

Someday, somebody else besides me will call me by my stage name. They will call me Doctor Worm.
Good morning, how are you? I'm Doctor Worm.
I'm interested in things...
I'm not a real doctor but I
Am a real worm, I am an actual worm. I live like a worm
And I like to play the drums.
I think I'm getting good but I can handle criticism.
I'll show you what I know and you can tell me if you think I'm getting better on the drums.
I'm not a real doctor but they
Call me Doctor

Monday, September 26, 2011

Autumn is Here!

"Summer days are held in a photograph. It's never the same. We can't go back."

FINALLY! Now, I can officially say that summer has forgotten me. Bye-bye swimming pools, staying up 'til 3 a.m., waking up at 2 p.m., humidity, hair that can't be tamed, and my favorite: Phoenix weather. I can't let Phoenix forget me--- I loved that place! I love how I did my hair when I was there--- I blow-dried the roots but let the rest stay soaking wet, and after two minutes outside, there it was, dry hair.

Well, hello school, the misery business, the illness that even though it's killing me now, it will lead me to success. I haven't blogged much lately, and I think I'm dead! But I didn't even get to see Jesus. However, my bus route goes by a whole bunch of houses that have angel statues in front of them (not good), and every time we drive by I tell myself, "DON'T BLINK." In case you've never seen "Doctor Who", angel statues are called Weeping Angels and if you blink, they are so fast that they can kill you in that small amount of time your eyes are closed. Creepy monsters they are. If I could be any monster from "Doctor Who", I'd be The Siren without a doubt. She's this beautiful angel who sings and stuff, and if you touch her you disappear. Then, in her little hospital or whatever where she holds people that have cut themselves or are injured in any way, if you touch a patient (as Amy learned when she touched her husband Rory's hand) she will turn into this red fireball. She's scary, but she rocks. If I could be any companion of the doctor (Matt Smith), I'd be Amy Pond because she's so awesome. Or I'd be River. I hate that character, but at the same time you have to love her because she's Amy and Rory's daughter, plus she's one bad chick! But overall, who wouldn't wanna be Matt Smith??? Ah, I'm a geek. A Whovian. I'm Hope and I'm a BBC American.

So yeah... waaay off topic. Well, things have been great. I'm joining my Youth group's worship team REALLY SOON, and here are a few songs that have been so true lately:

Is there a special someone? Ha ha, maybe. No one I wanna date though. At least not now.

Well, it's autumn. Hello, caramel apples, popcorn balls, hayrides, colorful leaves, food (Thanksgiving, baby!), furry boots and feather extensions, hot cocoa, bonfires, autumn breeze, corn mazes, and two announcements.


Finally, I'll be able to call myself a teenager. I won't be easily defined as the youngest in my class anymore! I bet I'll still feel the same, but at least I won't get awkward stares when I say my age.

Like, one time in art class, my teacher asked if I was thirteen yet because we were gonna make art blogs (perfect for me, eh?) but didn't because some are under thirteen, and I was like, "No, I'm still twelve."
"You're twelve?" Shari asked.
"You're twelve?" Someone else asked. Maybe Makayla, I don't remember.
"You're twelve?" Another person, I believe it was Ian, asked.
"Guys, is there an echo in here or something?" I wondered out loud. One thing that is so true about the class of 2016 is this: We're eighth graders, we don't know anything. I might blog about that on "Eighth Graders Anonymous".

But yeah. So excited for autumn. This season is just so emotional--- expect some poems from me.

Rock on,

P.S. Visit my buddy Mister Crow's (alias) blogs today, "Let's Meet On Cloud 9" and "Mid-Morning Sunset". They are in the blog list.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

The Terror Inside

Tuesday morning. Oh, that dreaded Tuesday morning. So many things I could have changed about that day, like if I could do it all over again, maybe I wouldn't have gone to work.

But let's start from the top. Let's start at 8:30 AM, when today was like any other.

I was sitting at my desk in my office on the 105th floor of the South Tower with an energy bar and coffee in hand at the World Trade Center. I had been lucky to score a job like this, but then again, it was just family genetics. My father was working at the Pentagon in DC today, my mother had a job here twenty stories down, my little brother was at basic training for the Air Force in San Antonio, and my older sister was flying to DC to visit my dad. The government was the family business. The government was what connected us, but little did I know that after today, it would be what destroyed us.

I was terribly exhausted. Today had been an early start, and I was feeling very moody because it was just that time of the month when I didn't want to be bothered by anyone. I didn't expect to be bothered by airplanes, building collapses, or painful flames. I only expected to be bothered by Russell, a guy that had an annoying crush on me who always tried to flirt with me. I already had it planned how I would slam down every comment Russell made, but the one thing I wasn't prepared for was the one thing that really happened.

You may ask, what was I doing when such a tragedy happened? I would tell you that I was doing what anyone else would do sitting at their desk--- working, or pretending to work, anyway. Just doing whatever. And then it happened.

8:46 AM. Suddenly, all sound ceased and the room fell silent. "Did you hear that?" I managed to say in a whisper that haunts me. The silence still remained. I heard something like a 'boom' or 'bang'. No, maybe not even that. It was something so electric I couldn't even describe it. I ran to the nearest window and there it was, all playing in front of me like a movie in 3D. "Oh my gosh, no. Oh, no. No. It can't be--- oh dear Jesus--- no..." I was panicking and could feel my oxygen level fix itself at zero. "Calm down, Amelia. It will be alright," soothed Haylee, who was in my cubicle. "Don't panic."

Even hearing Haylee's words, tears flowed down my cheeks like rivers. All of us were in shock, and it took minutes for sobs to come out. I wasn't crying because of me this time. It was because lives were at stake. Because lives were already gone. We ran into the hallway to find nearly every person on our level, shaking in fear. "We need to act now," I could hear someone say. "What if a plane strikes this tower, also?" Someone choked through tears and I freaked out. I didn't see a plane, but that must have been what happened. "I am not ready to die," Someone whispered in a way that sent chills through my spine. I wasn't ready to die, either, nor did I want to.

In shock, fifteen minutes passed and I was still standing in the hallway, not knowing what to do. To escape or not to escape. To live or to die. I sat there, sobbing, taking in the possible last minutes of my life. I opened my flip-phone and dialed home.

"Hello?" My husband Greg's voice answered on the other end. "Hi... it's... Amy," I said through tears. I could hear his laugh on the other end, comforting me with every giggle. "Amy, I thank God you're okay. I was afraid a plane would strike your tower, too."
      "Yeah. I'm alright for now, at least."
      "Have you tried escaping? No, did you escape already? Are you somewhere safe? Are you---"
      "I'm still on the 105th floor."
      "105??? Amelia, have you lost your mind? You will be killed up there--- what if the impossible happens?"
      "The impossible?"
      "Like, another plane could..." His voice drifted, showing me how the sentence had to end.
      "I know. I know what can happen, but... I just..." Here we go again, this time my voice was drifting.
      "You just what? What? What, honey?"
      "I love you."
      "Amy, no. This is not a goodbye call. Please tell me it isn't. You can still escape. But you have to run, you have to run now. No planes have hit your tower yet, you still have a chance at life. You have to evacuate. Now."

Then it happened. 9:03 AM. I felt a rumbling in the ground that told me that the impossible had happened. I heard Greg scream higher and louder than ever before and knew that he had felt my pain. "Amy? Amy, are you there? Please tell me you're there. Oh go---"
     "I'm here."
     "Oh, thank heavens. Do you realize what just--- how--- how are you alive?"
     "I don't know.... it's a miracle."
     "Why didn't you go downstairs? Now, there's no escaping. Now, there's---"
     "Why are you yelling?"
     "Why didn't you listen? I'm not yelling, I'm saying you should have listened. If you had only done what I'd said, you might be safe. If you had done what I said---"
     "I would have died!" I yelled. "I'm gonna die anyway, we both know that."
     "Don't say my name again! I love you, Greg, I really do. But sometimes, all you can do is pray and hope that things will work out. Sadly, I know what will happen to me. My fate is already planned---"
     "My destiny all comes down to this. All I can say is to live your life like it's ending. Because mine is. You don't know the time or the hour."
     "There's still hope."
     "No there isn't!" I snapped. "No. I can't do anything about it."
     "Amelia Renee. I love you and always will, but you can't just assume your life is over."
     "But I can. And it is. I am sorry, Greg, I... I just called to say I love you."

I hung up the phone. I paced the room crying, not knowing what to do. There were, surprisingly, several other people still up there, and I felt like an idiot doing nothing but hope and pray my life would be saved. Looking out the window, I could see people jumping out of the North Tower, rather than facing the terror inside. Several phone calls ended in more tears. "The Pentagon was struck," I heard the rumor make its way across the room. I fell to my knees in tears. "Dad," I managed to whine. And then I remembered who was twenty levels below. "Mom."

9-1-1 calls took up several minutes of time. In hope of being saved, spirits were lifted as we saw a helicopter, but then the sad news came: They couldn't save anyone above the fire. We were condemned to death. People began jumping out of our tower, and I couldn't look at the terror inside coming out. I was going to die, whether I could admit it or not. Death was the word I was most afraid of, and today I had to face it.

"Dear Jesus, I know I'm going to die today and I know that I haven't been that great... You know what, I wonder if you're even listening. But if you are, I just want to say, I'm sorry. I..."

Then, I began falling. The building was collapsing. "God, save me, no---"

And my world went black.
In honor of:

Glen Wall
Kevin Cosgrove

Saturday, September 10, 2011

We Are Broken.

We Are Broken

I am outside
And I've been waiting for the sun.
With my wide eyes,
I've seen worlds that don't belong.
My mouth is dry
With words I cannot verbalize.
Tell me why...
We live like this.
Keep me safe inside.
Your arms like towers
Tower over me.

Yeah, 'cause we are broken!
What must we do to restore our innocence...
And all the promise we adored?
Give us life again!
'Cause we just wanna be whole.

Lock the doors,
'Cause I'd like to capture this voice
That came to me tonight
So everyone will have a choice.
And under red lights,
I'll show myself it wasn't forged.
We're at war...
We live like this.
And keep me safe inside.
Your arms like towers
Tower over me.

'Cause we are broken!
What must we do to restore our innocence...
And all the promise we adored?
Give us life again!
'Cause we just wanna be whole.

Ah, ah, ah... ah, ah, ah...

Tower over me.
Tower over me...
And I'll take the truth at any cost!

'Cause we are broken!
What must we do to restore our inocense...
And all the promise we adored?

From the 105th Floor

I am free-falling, the sun beaming on my skin
I can feel my soul flying, burning deep from within.
This sounds like I'm happy, but I am in distress
I only wish I could find my rest.
From the 105th floor I can see it clearly,
I am going to die today, almost surely.
I pray my last prayer, breathe my last breath
And fall 105 stories down, straight to my death.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Stage Presence: What NOT to Do

I've been showing you what all the right moves for stage presence are, but have you noticed what's missing? There are things that all singers get wrong (even the ones with record deals), and you might have that one bad habit that I haven't combatted. Well, here's what NOT to do, so if you're doing any of what I say not to do, now is the time to stop!

Hello everybody, this is Nina and Mark. Despite the shaky beginnings and the lack of hearing Mark's voice, they can sing. And Mark---- he sure knows harmony! Mark, you can do a duet with me any time. Any time.

There are a few flaws I found in this, which is completely normal because they are not perfect. There were some problems with Nina's beginning, but their stage presence just... bothers me. And Mark, don't think you're safe because I like your voice a lot--- your stage presence kinda bothered me. Maybe I'm just being a little strict because the FAF band's lead singer Mariah sang a solo of this that I heard a minimum of fifteen times. But still, I know what I want in a cover.

First, what's up, Mark? You look mad or bored or something at 0:11 and pretty much the rest of the time you weren't singing. Don't get me wrong--- the voice rocks. And Nina--- is your arm glued to your side? I had that problem---technically, I still do---and that's what they (my youth pastor and our band's {we like to call her} manager) told me. Just remove the arm from the side sometimes. Tap your hand on your side sometimes to keep up with the percussion/rhythm (the timing here was messed up a little, sorry...) and that'll kill time there. Or, if you have a fidgeting problem, just slip that arm behind your back. Sometimes, do what you're doing.

Now, what REALLY bothered me was 3:01 through to 3:24. Guys, that's over twenty seconds of awkward silence (excluding violins)! I know that instrumentals can feel awkward, even a little embarrassing because there's well... nothing to do. My problem was I looked down at the ground throughout the entire guitar solo during my song because I had nothing to do. Don't look down, but don't just stand there either. You may feel frustrated when trying to not look down and not just stand there, and you might think, "Well then what am I supposed to do?" You're supposed to come up with something. Ad-Lib if you have to. What Mariah did when she sang "Unredeemed" on that instrumental was she ad-libbed something that was originally in the song (as in the ad-libs were originally there). Here's the chorus:

"Places where grace is, soon to be... so... amazing. It may be unfufilled. It may be unrestored. But when anything that's shattered is laid before the LORD, just watch and see... it will not be... unredeemed."

Here's what Mariah and Selah added to the chorus when the instrumental rolled around:

"Ooh... it will not be, UNREDEEMED. Yeah yeah... yeah..."

If you ad-lib, all awkwardness ceases.

Cimorelli, you never cease to amaze me. I'll admit, I was extra picky on y'all, girls with the record deal. Christina that plays piano. Katherine on bass. Lisa (believe it or not) doing percussion. Amy with a guitar. I was extra tough on this somewhat-acappella group.

0:34--- DON'T LOOK DOWN! Normally, I would let that slide because it was apart of Amy's stage presence, but from a fan's view and not a singer's, we want to see your pretty face!

I love 1:22. Watch how Lisa smiles when Lauren hits that high note. Lisa must be proud of her lil' sis.

1:43. Dani. The eyelash thing could have waited. I don't care if you had a plank in your eye--- I have sung with eyelashes in my eye, an itchy back, messed up hair, giant pimples, poky legs, plaque-y teeth, an urge to swallow, sneeze, or cough--- if I had to tolerate that, the eyelash thing could have waited. And I don't want to be mean to you, Dani, but 1:48 looked forced. Fake. Rehearsed. Unprofessional. Mainly unprofessional, because even though you were touching your hair for stage presence, it looked like you were touching it for the fun of it. So just don't. On the bright side, I can tell you're improving, Dani! You're gonna have a strong voice soon if you keep this up!

FAVE BLOOPERS: 4:21... *after a long silence* "I'm Lauren". At 4:24, when she was like, "I am sorry", it reminded me of me. I don't know why.  4:32: "My haters, sorry that you couldn't phase me". Sorry, I just wrote a Nicki Minaj quote. I love 5:37 when Christina's like, "Lauren's the best little sister I've ever had", and Dani looks like, "Oh no she did not"! 5:57--- Lisa, you're not just a percussionist--- you sing better than... I don't know, I'll think of someone.

I'm sorry that this is the same song as the first video. You only have to watch it a little bit, I promise. 2:03 is what I want you to see. All I say is, DO NOT watch your partner when in an ensemble or band! It looks like you don't know what you're doing.

I hoped this help you develop your vocal skills (and anyhting else that applies)! Thanks for reading!

Saturday, September 3, 2011


Stranger (I know this song's chords. If you want to know them, just ask me for them.)

Stranger, I've known you for so long.
I found you lost with a compass in the fog.
Stranger, you know me too much.
Illusionary self had not been touched,
Until you...

Humming "Hallelujah" in the dark...
Whispered poems leave you to be
Humming "Hallelujah" in the night...
The sun might rise, as sometimes does it fall.
Hallelujah. Hallelujah.


Stranger, you've followed me so far
Until the roads converged, as did the stars.
Stranger, the moon looks blue tonight.
Your photo framed, raw within my mind.
But not tonight...

Humming "Hallelujah" in the dark...
Whispered poems leave you to be
Humming "hallelujah" in the night...
The sun might rise, as sometimes does it fall.

Humming "hallelujah" in the dark.
Whispered poems leave you to be
Humming "hallelujah" in the night.
The sun might rise, as sometimes does it fall.

Isn't it September?

I'm BAAAAACCCKKKK! Ha ha ha. You missed me?

I'm back with a whole bunch of ideas for the start of school. More music and lyric posts than ever before, more creative writing, more music updates, more Christian posts (one coming very soon), and so on...

As you may have noticed, may not have noticed, I took "I'm homeschooled" out of my profile biography. So long, homeschool! At orientation, I walked in not knowing anyone and feeling very... I don't know... awkward. But, I didn't give the awkward feeling the time to settle, because I wasn't going to be the shy girl this time, not again! Now, the first day of school isn't even here yet and I've got like, seven friends! Not just friends that I found randomly (I did find them randomly, actually). These are Hans Zimmer fans (you know that song, "Time" that I love? Some of my friends like that song, too), bass guitarists, some are Christians, Paramore fans... you name it. This is gonna be a good year, and I'm inviting like, all my friends to go to Youth with me (and I am sure I'm gonna walk my talk)!

And, I've got a whole bunch of colorful friends--- literally! I have a green-haired friend, a pink-haired friend, a ginger... you name it.

Well, the music life is alright for me. In the week I didn't post, I listened to music into the wee hours (and pulled off an accidental all-nighter on Thursday) and practiced guitar, piano, bass, and vocals. "It's a good life, yeah you got it right" (You will find where I got that quote from in a lyric post coming from me soon)! Here's an update!

GUITAR: I learned (most of) the guitar lead from "Talk" by Coldplay (the only part I haven't learned is "Let's talk. Let's ta-a-a-alk")! Since my dad refuses to teach me chords before notes, I decided I should try lead guitar before rhythm. Some would do rhythm guitar first to start out "simple", but lead is so much easier for me! However, I have the slowest fingers a girl could have, so I'm typing only with my right hand right now so I can fret with it faster. It's hard having a right-handed guitar teacher when you're left-handed, because I'm playing it a certain way that he can't really do, so then he has to turn the guitar around which is hard for demonstrating because the Lead E string is supposed to be at the bottom and when he turns it around it's at the top... maybe I explained it weirdly, but if you played with a guitar (even just playfully) before, you know what I mean.
PIANO: My fingers move pretty quickly with this one. I've always been one to play by ear, so it's kinda easy. I don't know chords though, so that sucks. And I don't really like sheet music that has treble clefs and bass clefs because it's like reading a foreign language. And this girl is not bilingual, except for a small amount of ASL. But my dad wants me to learn it anyway because he doesn't like reading music by chords... he likes traditional sheet music better. I think my fingers move well with this because it's a keyboard, and I'm kind of keyboarding right now. How did my typing skills not transition with guitar? I don't know. But yeah. I'm currently working on "Everybody Wants to Rule the World" by Tears For Fears and "Growing Pains" by Deas Vail. I'm pretty much done with "Growing Pains"--- stay tuned for a lyric post of that one.
BASS: On string bass, I learned "Time" by Hans Zimmer. It's so fun! I thought learning strings would be harder than guitar 'cause it's fretless, but no. I actually work better without frets. For my thirteenth birthday, I'm asking for a bow so I can play bass in a different style--- I wanna call it cello 'cause that's what it will sound like.
VOCALS: Dude, on Tuesday, I had like, a six hour vocal lesson (*COUGH* with myself *COUGH*). I started out with higher pitched songs, and with every one of them, I was like, "FAIL!" No. It was more like, "FAAAAAAAYYYYYYLLLLL"! Then, when I moved into a more comfortable range, it sounded great. Then I went back to the high songs and I sounded marvelous! It's so easy practicing with my vocal coach! She's awesome! Can you believe she taught herself? And she has a low vocal range, too! By coincidence, she listens to Deas Vail, Relient K, Paramore, Fireflight, Owl City... she even has something against Coldplay, too! We're one and the same--- literally, LoL! One time, she let me practice for a full thirty minutes to Justin Bieber, but then for two hours she made me sing "Excuses" because band practice was cancelled so she made me sing my vocal chords dry. Tough teacher I've got.

Stay tuned for A LOT of lyric posts! Get it? Stay TUNED? Ha ha! 'Cause you know how instruments get out of tune... Oh gosh....

September also means...
Although I love September, we all know one thing not so cheery about this month: September 11th, 2001. It's gonna be the ten year anniversary. So, what am I going to do? Well, the blog template will be changed to a special 9/11 theme to remember those who died on that day. I'll try not to make things too depressing, though. You will be reading a short story written by me.

So yeah. This month's gonna be great, and good luck at school/college/work, everyone!