Sunday, June 5, 2011

It's A Conspiracy...

Sorry, it's just this video is HILARIOUS... Maria showed it to me, and I tried to explain this video to Kayla, but I started crying just by laughing so hard to where she's gonna have to watch it herself. You gotta admit, that's some legitimately good stuff. Crazy.
Sorry about that, um, distraction. Now, here's the conspiracy. (Inspired by my Sunday School teacher, Britney!)

This is a sequel to What's With The Muffins?

So, I asked a few people what they think about this muffin thing, and here is the end result. I said I'd get to the bottom of this, and I did, once and for all!
So, it turns out that the sudden muffins in exchange for donuts is supposed to be healthier. So, do the math.

     Muffin w/ Orange juice
--- Donut w/ Coffee
Healthier alternative.

Okay, so it's supposed to be "a healthier alternative", huh? Well, what about we the people? Yes, I'm on the muffin side, but they should have had the congregation vote or something.

Sources (me) say that there is a trend here--- most of the guys except for a few would rather have a donut and most of the girls except for a few would rather have a muffin.

And we the people are speaking out. (Click "read more" to see opinions and more answers!)

I asked a few people to see what they thought. I told most of them that they were a part of a blog survey, but mainly I did this for fun and out of curiosity. Plus, it adds some humor, doesn't it?

It's the great breakfast debate. (You can fight for your side if you post a comment, but it's optional!)

Brian E. says that he would much, much rather have a donut. However, his sister Sarah has opposing views on this sudden change. Sarah likes muffins better anyway, and she thinks it's great that the church has stopped serving donuts.

Tyler G.  hates muffins, yet it puzzles me that I saw him with one anyway when I questioned him about this controversial topic.

Brittany H. (not the one that inspired this, but a different one) likes muffins. Enough said.

Kayla V. thinks that muffins are just as unhealthy as donuts.

Britney S. (the one that inspired the investigation) doesn't think her dad, Pastor Joe, (I think he's on the BHL... don't remember) really cares that much.

Faith E. thinks it's great that the church doesn't serve donuts because muffins are smaller, even though there are muffin top rumors.

Leanna S. does not really care. (Blunt.)

Britney S. (again) speaks out, this time about the fact that the church needs more blueberry muffins, and maybe people will eat them.

Stephanie S. wants donuts.

Nathan E. likes muffins, one of the rare guys that do in this investigation. He likes that when he's running late, he can just shove a muffin down his throat. His brother Josh on the other hand does not like the idea of this muffin thing, and I don't think I paid that much attention to his reason.

Pastor Jeremy G., I think, likes both. It's quite mysterious.

Drew P. never gave me a clear answer, but I think he's on Nathan's side--- muffins.
It's so fun to get sucked into! It's so interesting! It's so... intense. Just think about it:

The food that's in the basement during Sunday School has got the congregation divided. This is more interesting than any soap opera, any The Secret Life (I don't watch that sinful show!) episode, any celebrity breakup... anything. This is popcorn-popping, edge-of-chair drama--- muffins vs. donuts.

And are the muffins any cheaper? Answer: NO. According to sources---which they BETTER BE RIGHT---the muffins take two weeks to pay off, when the donuts took only one week. Maybe Britney's right... they need to cut back on Poppyseed (ew!) and get more blueberry. Besides, poppyseeds can make you fail drug tests! But don't try it!

It's the end of the conspiracy and it sounds like the donut debaters are winning.

I said I would get to the bottom of this and I think I am there.

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