Dress Modestly... But Why?

I just read an article on wearing bikinis to the beach. Click here to read it.

So, if you read it, basically the author talks about the sacrifices of dressing modestly. Totally agreeable. I mean, I have wanted to wear so many things that I knew would display me in a way that's less than favorable. One guy even said to me, "For someone who's not a slut, those shorts are really slutty." I was highly offended, angry even, because I usually cover up and the ONE day I wear shorts a little higher than mid-thigh, I am told that. When I wear yoga pants and black jeans every other day. I was like, geez. The other girls at school wear denim underwear and I can't just wear what I want to? It was frustrating.

I get nervous just by wearing tank tops or low-cut shirts. Keep in mind, I have no cleavage to show anyway. However, I like wearing them because it actually makes it look like I do have a slightly bigger bust. Also, they're slimming and they show off most of my back. So why did I say I get nervous about wearing them? It makes me feel like I just need to put a hoodie on. I don't have issues with other people wearing them because it doesn't bother me. So why don't I?

Everyone has a different standard of modesty, and for the most part, that's okay. I don't like to wear bathing suits (don't get me started on that black one from the end of seventh grade... twelve years old and already having to buy from the women's section? I should have been wearing cutesy ones with pink bows!), but I'm not gonna start a rally and tell my friends not to wear them. That's their choice! What they want to wear is their deal, eh?

Another thing about modesty (probably the most important thing): Why should you be modest? Who are you doing it for? Some say, "so that guys won't be tempted." I guess that's a valid reason, and most of the reason behind the aforementioned article. My issue?

It goes both ways. Yes, men are more visual. Yes, they can be tempted. But last I checked, girls can be as well. But I don't know, maybe I don't know enough about my own gender. However, I gotta be honest about something.

If lust is on both sides of the pizza roll (I've been obsessed with them lately...), then why does 95% of the school dress code only apply to girls? None of the guys at my school would wear a spaghetti strap tank top. They wouldn't wear tight spandex shorts (some are bikers, but that's justifiable). The only thing they can't do is wear a hat... and they probably can't walk in shirtless, either.

But outside of school, they and girls alike are free to wear whatever they want. I cannot wear the cute dress I wanted (wearing it around the house is useless, some people don't understand that) but the hot guy across the street mowing his lawn, with muscles and everything, is not tempting at all. AT ALL. Nope.

And trust me, as a girl, I must say that it is definitely on both sides of the spectrum. But it's not all about how much clothing you're wearing. Sometimes people's thoughts go there anyway.

So, I wouldn't say that I dress modestly to help guys out. I think that for one, they're gonna stare or imagine anyway (just like females). I also think that they have enough self-control to be mature and either look the other way or... I don't know, RESPECT THE GIRL.

But.

This does NOT grant permission to walk around looking like you tried to squeeze into a toddler's skirt. Have some decency. To me, having your boobs hang out is not attractive at all. It makes me wanna give you my beloved hoodie. I don't give that hoodie to just anyone. Either you're having a wardrobe malfunction (and this is a serious wardrobe malfunction) or you just don't get it. Congratulations. You are a poor unfortunate soul.

If you have a Tumblr account (changed my URL to princessababwa), or even just on the Internet often, you've probably seen images of half-naked girls with signs saying "Still not asking for it." Yesterday, I even saw one of a girl wearing one of those pale-skin-colored tops (so basically showing ALMOST everything on her torso) and saying, "Still not asking for it!"

I don't even know where to begin about these. I know they are talking about rape. Don't get me wrong: RAPE IS WRONG AND THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR IT. But... just because you can dress revealing almost everything, doesn't mean you should. This is where dressing modestly for men kinda comes in. I know I am contradicting myself.

Just like my thing about the hot guy across the street (who is imaginary). He may not be asking for it, but I'm like, "Ooh. That's my babaaaaaaaaayyyyyy!" So, ladies. Let's make a scenario.

You walk in the club that does not have strippers with all your girls. Well, if you wanna imagine strippers, you can, but I don't wanna be held responsible for that. Y'all are wearing some interesting clothes. SO interesting, you are nearly mistaken to be a stripper. You notice men staring at you. You know why. They say...

And you say, "I know what you were imagining!" You are surprised at their impressive quoting (though he didn't get it quite right... it doesn't say "pretty little neck," says something else) of The Hunchback of Notre Dame, your favorite Disney film (from the Renaissance, anyway). However, you refuse to stoop down to their level. "Let's go, Fifi" you say to one of your girls. "Lacey, Renee, Tiana, Lilo, Elphie--- let's go. These men have NO respect for a woman's body."

Now, I'm not saying we (yes, we. I'm invited to this girl's night out, right? It was my idea!) were asking for it but... either way, these men have absolutely no respect for us. And why, exactly? We didn't do anything wrong! We just came here to get some virgin pina coladas and this happened.

Now, this is a tricky scenario. I guess both are at fault. Men: respect women. Women: respect yourselves. I know a lot of guys (pretty much all the guys I know) that would not date a girl who didn't respect her own body and cover it up. Nobody wants to see that... well, I guess some people wanna see that, but if they're worth keeping, they probably won't want to (or try to control the fact that they want to).

However, do not get me wrong. When it comes to rape, there is NO excuse. I am not saying that it is anyone's fault for being sexually assaulted, because people should have enough self-control to ignore the temptation. No matter what the gender.

But my opinion on immodest attire? I think it's kinda important to show that you're not that easy to get. That even if you get desperate for someone, you will not make yourself a giant display of sex. If you respect your body, more and more people will as well. And believe me, it's worth it.

I have had no boyfriends. No guys have liked me. As an incoming sophomore, most of the people in my grade have dated at least one person. But I will never get so desperate for a boyfriend that I will have to turn to making guys lust after me. Sure, if I get a crush on a guy I might dress up a little, but still keeping modesty in mind (for the most part). I want to be seen as someone with high standards, not a girl who will take any apple that falls from the tree. After all, some apples have worms. I'll take discoloration, I'll take dents, though.

Everyone has a different view of what's modest. Some people have more things to cover up, some have less. A lesson everyone can learn is, this is a two-way thing. Not just girls, not just guys.

We're all in this together.

Summer Fashion: Try Your Own Style!

I love this style guide by Seventeen magazine's staff. Sure, I may not be that old (which is very frustrating--- at a church I was visiting they give you name tags that also say what year you're graduating in, and the wrong year was listed for me, so now they think I'm a frickin' middle schooler when I'm a freshman! And then I got kicked out of a shoppping place that's popular in my area because it was past nine and I'm under sixteen. Ugh.), but I can still enjoy the extras the staff has to offer!

Why read this book? Because it's not full of "you can't do this" and "you can't do that." It's full of possibilities. Whether you're a girly girl, an inner rock star, bohemian, the classic prep, or in love with all things indie, you will love this book. It has helped me put two outfits together.

What's to love? It doesn't list $200 and $500 things, like you may find in TEEN VOGUE (and seriously, what teenager who is in their sane mind, wants to go to college, and has a minimum wage paying job is going to spend that much?), but it's a whole bunch of stuff that if you have any taste in fashion, you probably already have in your closet. It just shows you how to make it work. Again, unlike TEEN VOGUE, it doesn't make you feel bad becuse you get reduced lunch and can't exactly afford Louis Vuitton right now.

I love this book because it was made for REAL teenage, middle-class girls. Not Malia Obama, Elle and Dakota Fanning, not Victoria Justice, or Miley Cyrus, and DEFINITELY NOT Willow Smith. It'f for girls like me and you who live in the real world, in a reality where you can't be shelling out $1,000 for a purse.

It's being creative with what you already have, and that's why it's such a hit!

So what are you doing? Go to your local library and get it!

Summer Fashion: Try Floral!

I will try to weekly add a new trend on Sundays, and then a new lyric post on Mondays, a new faith post on Thursdays, poetry on Tuesdays, and a review on a Saturday. Plus, info about a new band at least every other Friday!

I do not own any of these images.

Floral dresses are SO in this summer. Year-round, actually.

I am wearing a floral dress right now that I wore to Nathan (remember the lead guitarist in Christian Band last year? Yeah, he was the lead vocalist this year)'s graduation party. It was great for the occassion, and I curled my hair for it, with a pretty blue flower form Forever 21.

It was that flower in the color of blue. I do not own this image, either.

 Floral rings are pretty, also.

I do not own this image.

That looks like a rose made from fondant, doesn't it? But yeah. I own a few of these rings, as you cna see I have one in my profile picture. I stepped on the ring part of it an dI figured the only thing it was good for was a picture. After all that money I spent...

Floral fragrances are a must, too...

Alright, I'll make this clear: I do not own ANY of these images.

Dark Kiss is one of my favorite perfumes, and this version of it leaves a pretty shimmer. Glitter and perfume in one!

Superbowl XLV Fashion For The Party!

You've got all the cosmetics, fragrance, and technology. Now, update your fashion for your party! Because your fashion is only as good as the reaction it gets when you walk in.

These high heel boots are jack wagon crazy awesome! Yeah, that was weird for me to say. These boots are probably over a hundred dollars, but you can score more--- for less!
Would you believe me if I told you that I wear my mom's boots? They are really cute. (at least I think they are.) They are not like these, and knowing my mom, she probably bought them at a garage sale. But mine (ah hem... I mean Mom's) are like these, but the pattern is different. Tip? Don't go by the book. Forget what Seventeen and Vogue say, you rule your own fashion world! Don't wear what they wear on 90210 or Glee, because you can switch up your fashion--- sometimes for free! You see high heel boots, but if you have high heel boots, it's okay if they don't look like these. Let me be frank with you: I don't own those boots. I don't even own the picture! As long as you have high heel boots, it's okay.

Fitting into Your Life: Don't have high heel boots? Wear normal, flat-footed boots. They're way more comfy, anyway!
Fitting into Your Size: High heel boots are great for tall girls. If you aren't tall, that's okay! Average and short girls look outstanding in flat fur boots! No wonder boots were The Blogspot Best Fashion of the Year!

Skinny jeans. Most of us love 'em. Who would've thought they'd make the Superbowl parties? Denim is the best material for parties, because if you spill punch or soda on your leggings--- you're toast! (I know from experience. When I first saw the people we stayed with in North Carolina, my legging were a mess from Cheetos, soda, punch, coffee, and more. It was so embarrassing.) So be prepared. This is the best fabric! If you spill water, no one knows, once it's dry! This is why I love them.

Fitting Into Your Life: Don't have skinnies? Wear a curvy top to take away the need of the perfect pants.
Fitting Into Your Size: Skinny jeans aren't for everyone. You need to tone up before really wearing them right. Don't have time to hit the gym? Just get normal bootcut jeans and there you go! A fun look! Holey jeans are always fun, and they're great with flip-flops, but only if you dare in this weather. tall girls look great in capris, or cuffed jeans cuffed up to below the knee. Average girls are rocking the bootcuts! and for you short girls, skinnies are great! And so are denim shorts with legging underneath--- they make you look taller!

These rings are beautiful. I own one similar to this, but no, this one isn't mine and once again, I don't even own the picture. Ruby rings are awesome. This one is very expensive, (I bet) but the one I have is from Fashion Bug. (Tip: DO shop Fashion Bug!) I didn't get it, my aunt Tricia gave it to me for Christmas or something. But I love it. It barely fits on my fingers, but it's beauty from pain. I love these rings, I'm not giving up my bling!

Although they say "It's not about the money, money, money. We don't need your money, money, money. We wanna make the world dance, forget about the price tags. It's not about the cha-ching, cha-ching, not about the ba-bling ba-bling..." I can't live without bling. It's my life. (Jessie J, "Price Tag".)

This is your party. Live it up!

~~~~~

And don't forget it:

Superbowl starts at 6:30! Not rooting for anyone? Be my guest, I love the Packers. So turn on your TVs, get cozy, and have a good night, everyone!