Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Sidelines

Been standing on the
                                 s  d  l   n   s
                                   i   e  i   e
for all my life now
And stepping back while time runs thin
Slowly,
Slowly,
S
l
o
w
l
y.
I got myself to take a stand
But was too weak to take it to the end.
I wanted to say three words,
Oh just three words
Three words
I wanted to say to you.
Never did.
So here I stand watching you pass by
And there you go watching me pass by
And we act like strangers in the presence of each other.
We stop and stare and I wonder what's still there...
What you're thinking of me,
What you once were thinking of me.
I love you, did you ever love me?
No, I don't think so.
You're happy with her
And I'm better off alone
So goodbye, my love.
I would blow a kiss in your direction and I would be brave enough to say this to your face
But it doesn't matter now does it?
You wouldn't see me...
Would you???

Saturday, January 21, 2012

My Winter Playlist

Ah, the goodness music does for mankind. So, I made a seasonal series of what I am listening to right now. So, here is what I'm listening to right now! (In no particular order.)
  1. "Old School Love" by Megan and Liz. "Does anybody miss that" old school love? I think so! The music video is really weird and the dancing is really awkward... But I love 1:15 through to 1:41. I've always wanted to hold a guy hostage... as bad as that may have sounded, it was completely innocent, trust me. And the guy on the left is named TJ. I have seen another video he's in (and he talks!) and it will be on Eighth Graders Anonymous very soon. Twinning??? Yes. Megan and Liz are fraternal twin sisters. They look sreepily similar here, especially at that part I just pointed out when they're doing all the same motions... so creepy... so awesome!
  2. "Airplanes" by the Local Natives. I love the piano, the bass, the percussion, the really weird lyrics, everything. And the violin, to Pluto and back. I love how it says "I keep those chopsticks you had from when you taught abroad, taught abroad in Japan." I love the song in general. I first heard the song at school. I love my school. I love the Skull Candy headphones I first heard this song with. I love the iPod it was on (Because it has "Move Along" by the All-American Rejects and a song by Peter Bjorn and John on it). I love YouTube. I love the person that posted the unofficial video on YouTube (@BennisHahn). "I love it all... so much I call,  want you back, back, back... You back..."
  3. "Safe and Sound" by Taylor Swift and The Civil Wars. The song was made for The Hunger Games, and I am more than excited! I never quite finished that series... LoL, didn't have the time to. But the song is just b-e-a-utiful... Even Faith likes, and that is a big deal coming from the Anti-TaylorSwift.
  4. "Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots" parts 1 and 2, by The Flaming Lips. Hate the band name, love the song. Part 1 is very inspiring, about a girl named Yoshimi who battled cancer and... well, she died. Part 2 is the battle... intense. And Yoshimi has a screaming part in it!
  5. "Young Folks" by Peter, Bjorn and John. Self-explanatory why I love it.
  6. "We Found Love" cover by Boyce Avenue. Love them. I hated the song before they covered it. Like, seriously. Cold hate. But Boyce Avenue changed all that. And, in honor of the brothers, my guitar is named Daniel Fabian Alejandro.
  7. "Take My Hand" by The Cab. Totally reminds me of middle school drama. So, my advice? "Don't worry, just breathe... Say they wanna change, I hope that you remain the same to show that this is not a game, let's end this tragedy today. Now take my hand and we will run away down to this place that I know... We won't, be apart of, we won't, be apart of this..."
  8. "Go to the River" by Yael Naim. Who doesn't love her???
  9. "Time" by Hans Zimmer:) for obvious reasons.
  10. "Again" by Flyleaf. Everybody hates Flyleaf and everybody loves them. I don't know how I feel. But I know for sure I love this song.
  11. "Your Love Never Fails" by Jesus Culture. When I first heard this song, I was in church with the adults an dwas like... "It's not that good a song..." Then I heard the original and was like, "Oh! The adult worship team didn't do this song justice at all..." and I have permission to say that about them because my dad is the worship team's main bassist!
  12. "Bring Me to Life" by Evanescence. I just love Amy Lee's voice so much...
  13. "The Redeemer" by Sanctus Real. I can't get away from this beautiful band...
  14. "Battle At Aslan's How" by Harry Gregson-Williams, who composed lots of my gymnastics music way back in the day. He's 2012's Beethoven, Hans Zimmer is our Mozart.
  15. "Liar Liar" by Christina Grimmie. Christina... "Tell me why these roads keep leading... leading you right back..."
  16. "When You're Gone" by Avril Lavigne. An old classic I've always loved... and now I can play it on guitar!
  17. "Hey Mama" by Mat Kearney. Catchiest song I've ever heard. This is a pop-ish song, but I am making an exception--- Mat, you're amazing!
  18. "Sing You Home" by Xenia. I saw the video in a Justin Bieber playlist and was like, "Xenia? Hey, that's a city in my state!" Then I realized the girl's name is Xenia. Yeah, she was a contestant on The Voice last year. I only watched some of it because Adam Levine was on it.
  19. "Ships in the Night" by Mat Kearney. Okay, this is definitely pop, no exceptions. But i don't care... this is what pop music was MEANT to be.
  20. And, of course, every. Deas. Vail. song. there. is.
That's my music life this season!!

Inception Music Makes EVERYTHING Intense!!!!

If your sound goes in and out, it's alright... the beginning just has bad sound quality. But the rest of the video should be alright.

Isn't it intense??? And one of the guys looks like Leonardo DiCaprio (nominated for Best Actor on The Blogpsot Awards--- remember to vote!) and the video is just so intense. I posted a comment on it on YouTube (I'm @Gymnastix1710) saying as I was typing my comment, I was going super fast because of how the music made my typing intense.

Go, Hans Zimmer!

I learned his song that I always gab about (it's not necessary to say the name so I won't... alright, it's "Time") on piano and bass and guitar. I just need a violin or cello now. And possible horn???

Like, legit. Hans makes everything intense. Without his music, the movie could be a piece of crap. I don't know though, I've never seen it on mute. And I don't intend to. Evanescence's "Bring me to Life" screams Inception... only the video came out eight years ago and Inception was two.

But yeah. If I ever get the chance, I'm gonna act something stupid out to "Time". What can be stupidly emotional??? Well, my dad does go on deleting sprees with our DVR (which resulted in losing "Inception" gazillion times and "Titanic" once when it would've been my first time seeing it and it was the one rare time it's ever been on ABC Family) and it's always emotional to find out something i wanted to see got deleted. But I'm sure there's something more out there...

So that's my random life.


got milk???
Aw man, I can't find the "got milk" font:(

Friday, January 20, 2012

HEROES Week~ March On!

Well, it's been a very good HEROES Week, and now it's time to say goodbye. But before that, it's time for one last word to say.

We've blogged about being a HERO and taking a STAND, stopping bullying in its tracks, forgiveness, and going beyond just standing up--- actually being a friend. Now, it's time to move on!

Literally.

So, many of us have been bullied before, or at least it felt like it. And eventually, most of us learned to move on. The others.... well, we don't like to talk about that. And that's our problem.

Suicide.

Today is Suicide Awareness Day. Perfect time to write love on your arms. Also a perfect day for the last day of HEROES Week... and that totally was NOT planned ahead of time.

We don't like to talk about suicide. We don't want to talk about it, so many times we don't talk about it. And even when we do, it feels like a tragedy in the distance that rarely happens.

It happens. Really. And it can happen to you.

My friend Cheyenne knows someone who killed himself. She doesn't really like talking about it, so that's pretty much all I know that I can tell you.

Pain is what it causes. And that's it. You take your life, you ruin someone else's.

You think people wouldn't care if you died, but think: is that really true? There are people who love you. Sure, maybe it's not a particular guy/girl, but you are loved. As a Christian, I believe there is a God out there who loves me, and I believe that He loves you, too. Just live another day... it will be worth living, I promise. You have my word. My promise.

You may be asking why...
And this is why.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

HEROES Week~ Finding Laughter

Today I am not posting any lyrics to today's song, mainly because I want some time to read "Pretty Little Liars" (by guess who? Sara Shepard, who obviously also wrote "The Lying Game"). Selfish, I know. Bad girl, Hope! I am also reading "Beatle Meets Destiny" about some boy named John Lennon (but he's not THE John Lennon) who meets a girl named Destiny McCartney (get it? McCartney and Lennon??? If you don't, you better get to studying about The Beatles). Everybody calls the guy Beatle. He meets his dream girl, Destiny, and falls head over heels for her the very first day. But, he's already dating his twin sister's (who was born six weeks after him) best friend, Cilla, who is also beautiful. However even though he loves Destiny, he did meet her on Friday the Thirteenth. And he's really superstitious. And he's sitting in a bar on Friday the Thirteenth, but only eating ice cream. He's named after a Beatle, he's got a twin, he's in love... HE'S ALSO TAKEN! This humourous book is worth your time. Five stars, so far.

And, Destiny has some sisters named Faith, Charity, and Hope. If I wasn't already sold when I read that part, then I don't know when I was! The book is by Gabrielle Williams. And the setting is... Aussie!
~~~~~~
Laughter. Something we all could use a little dose of every once in a while. We're teenagers, we're busy. Even I am crazy busy. SCHOOL, church, writing stories, writing poetry, being a student leader in the childrens' ministry, a preschool teacher in the nursery (more like a Sunday school setting than actual needing-a-degree kind of teaching), playing guitar, learning piano, trying to get on the worship team, songwriting, preparing for Fine Arts, singing, finding songs for our group human video drama. And, I have to squeeze in some time to watch "Inception" (I have an "Inception" quote at the top of the screen!) and "Switched at Birth". I am also three or four episodes behind "The Lying Game".

In all life's stress, it's easy to turn life into a "Me, Me, Me" routine. Just ask Drew any day. His schedule is a bit like mine, considering we've both been homeschooled and are both leaders in kids' church, and both play piano (although he is WAAAY better than me). But, then again, he's a fourteen-year-old uncle whose siblings are all grown, sooo... major differences. Well, he wrote a post about human trafficking, and here's what he said:

"In life, it is very easy to slip into a vicious cycle of 'Me, Me, Me.' It has become popular, common, and even easy to live only thinking about self, and; honestly, we all do it. Every day it is a challenge for humans, especially Americans, to wake up and not think of themselves first. In times like these, where wickedness is thriving, and most people don't seem to care; We have to remind ourselves of the pain some people live in every day they wake. Some people are trapped in a sphere of sorrow, unable to get out. The people I'm talking about are woman trapped in human trafficking... Many people have never even heard of human trafficking, it is a horrible thing. In the simplest of terms, it is forced prostitution... I really can't think of anything worse you could do to a girl."
-Drew, from "Drew's Blog," who was nominated to be the Best Blog Ever and Most Inspiring Blog.

We wake up and we think about ourselves. "What will I wear?" "Ooh, I gotta catch my bus?" "Does Chuck like me? Yes or no???" (quote from my youth pastor!). We don't think about anything else, and well, normally I would only speak for myself, but I know I'm not the only one who does this.

We don't think about those struggling. And it goes beyond bullying. Being a HERO is more than stopping a fight or standing up for yourself. It's opening your mind to all the other problems in this world, one day at a time. Being a HERO is helping someone break away from their problems and turn their nights of pain and sorrow into days of joy and laughter.

Stopping bullying is taking a stand.
Finding laughter is being a HERO.

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Story of My Life

Everyday, the first thing I do is:

Play guitar, of course!

I sing, and my stage presence could look like:


But instead it looks like just standing still.

I'm obsessed with food, and I look crazy when I eat:

Uh... self-explanatory.


I'm scared to go to prom.

That'll be him.

That'll be little poor me.

And no matter what life throws at me, I always have Jesus and...


My guitar...


My voice...

And the music!!!!!

HEROES Week~ Dare to Believe

Dare to Believe
It's feeling like our time's run out
But the hourglass just flipped itself over again.
The sun is slowly sinking down
But on the other side, a new day waits to begin.

If you dare to believe in life,
You might realize that there's no time for talking
Or just wait around while the innocent die.
No more,
We're gonna lose everything
If we believe all the lies.
I may fall but I swear that I'll help you believe.
No more,
This world is running on empty
And there's no reason why.
You might fall but I know that you'll help me believe.

We've been in the dark for way too long
But when we turn around, we see a light shine through the haze
So forget about who was wrong
'Cause I have never been more ready to turn this page.

If you swear you believe in life,
Embrace forgiveness 'cause it's all that I'm asking
Or keep holding out while the innocent die.

No more,
We're gonna lose everything
If we believe all the lies.
I may fall but I swear that I'll help you believe.
No more,
This world is running on empty
And there's no reason why.
You might fall but I know that you'll help me believe.

No more...
We're gonna lose everything
If we believe all the lies.
I may fall but I swear that I'll help you believe.
No more,
This world is running on empty
And there's no reason why.
You may fall but I know that you'll help me believe!
No more,
We're gonna lose everything
If we believe all the lies.
You may fall but I swear that I'll help you believe
You may fall but I swear that I'll help you believe
I may fall but I swear that I'll help you
Believe.
If you swear you believe in life...

No more... we're gonna lose everything...
No more... we're so quick to lose everything...
No more... we're gonna lose everything...
No more... we're so quick to lose everything...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Forgiveness. No one wants to have to do it. But one important part of ending bullying is forgiveness.

Like in Megan and Liz's "Are You Happy Now" (Megan and Liz have connections with Boyce Avenue as well!) when at 2:36 Liz says (she plays the bully) "I'm so sorry." We all know that an apology rarely, RARELY happens in real life, especially from a bully. And then Megan (who plays the bullied) forgives her.

If you want to end bullying, it starts with you.

First, do you believe bullying can end? Well, there are seven billion people on this planet, so... I don't see it ending any time soon, in all honesty. But, I know that to stop bullying in its tracks, and not turn into a bully yourself, if you are in a rare case where an apology happens, let them know they're forgiven. And if they don't apologize, here's one weird tip:

Wanna make them feel bad? Here's my technique: Show them that you are not willing to fight them and you do want to---whether you wanna admit it or not---be friends, or at least acquaintances. It works. Whenever someone says something mean to me, I stand up for myself--- I don't take crap from anyone. But then, I find a clever way to be nice to them (even if I hate their guts) and usually I learn that their not as bad as they seem to be. Then, once they see how much I don't care about their negativity and can look past that, they start to be nice to me, too.

"Imagine all the" bullies "living in perfect peace... you might say I'm a dreamer. But I'm not the only one."

So, despite that little breakout into my version of "Imagine" by John Lennon, think of "Dare to Believe" by Boyce Avenue. You can call them YouTube's Best Musicians Ever, for short. They're the best stuff on earth... other than Snapple, of course.

"Dare to Believe" is an anti-violence song. Not so much about bullying, but it can transfer, definitely. It's mainly about (according to Alejandro, the lead vocalist and the person my guitar is named after) never giving up. The song was dedicated to a fan battling cancer.

It feels like time is running out, and it always has been. The longer we wait, the less time we hvae to turn things around. Because there will be a day when time runs out for all of us...

So forget about who was wrong, because we are not any different from each other.

If you swear you believe in life...

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

HEROES Week~ Are You Happy Now?

"Are You Happy Now?" by Megan and Liz is about bullies, obviously. But , it is also about bullies who were once bullied themselves and eventually turn into bullies. Basically feeding off of others' pain like a monster, but still not really benefiting from it, and the cycle restarts. Well, the cycle ends now.

To see lyrics to "Are You Happy Now", you can visit Eight Graders Anonymous or you can click a direct link to Eighth Graders Anonymous' lyric post of "Are You Happy Now."

I don't have any personal experiences that relate to this song... oh wait... Yeah, I do!!!

I have a friend who is extremely creative. She's like, my fashion inspiration. Always comes to church with a different color in her hair, more duct tape accessories, more pin-button things, new merchandise from her favorite bands (although we don't like the same music by any means, she likes Black Veil Brides and I don't, that being said I have no idea how we even get along as well as we do), and everything awesome... and a lot of pink! You wouldn't think anything would be wrong. You would probably think she was emo when you first met her, but she wears too many colors for that and has a bright personality. She's like... Christina Grimmie... a Christina Grimmie that listens to metal, that is. But you would think she's the happiest girl alive. Turns out she's not. I'm not saying her name because of what I am about to say. Self-abuse, serious depression... you name it.

Even I am a good example. I am smile-y, and I can't stop laughing, like, seriously. But on the inside I am just like anyone else. That's why so many people ask for my advice--- I listen because in a lot of cases, I've been there. And I don't know why people choose me, but I guess there's something special. You would think I'm the happiest girl alive, but I'm not. Those that saw me today saw I was dressed in all black because I was in a terrible, terrible mood. A lot of things happened over the weekend and I just wanted to be alone and cry for a minute. But, things eventually got better. Didn't get to cry... but eventually, I didn't even feel like I had to.

Here's another experience:
I have a stalker. Yes, a stalker. He's a seventh-grader at my school. And he's freaking me out. At first I thought he was just awkward, but no. I think he likes me (yes, I just now am figuring out he likes me because no guys have crushes on me). It's so unfair. There's the snobby girls that get the guys I really like love, and then there's girls like me who get the geeks. I used to think, "Oh, so I'm not pretty enough to get the hot guys?" But I don't... it doesn't matter as much anymore. Not really. So imagine how the geek feels? He probably feels like the science geek in "Are You Happy Now" verse 2.

"Fifteen years down the road, he could be EVERYTHING and you won't..."

Yeah, I don't think about that. I'm thinking that he's stalking me. He could grow up to be a serial killer, guys. I'm not thinking about him being the next Steve Jobbs. I'm thinking about... me. I do keep in mind his feelings. Like when he hugs me from behind I don't say anything, however my friend Fluffy (we call her Fluffy because she speaks no fluff--- she tells it like it is) screamed, "GET AWAY FROM HER!!!!!" Ha, that's what friends are for. But I just can't tell the kid to back off... what if he DOES become the next Steve Jobbs?

In this case, just like Joe Nichols' song "Size Matters," safety matters. If you don't feel safe, it doesn't matter how the person feels, honestly. Politely tell them to go away.

But also in this case... BE PATIENT. And also, if you're being bullied, you gotta learn to stand up for yourself. Sadly, not everyone is strong enough to speak up, so you have to do it yourself. Just like when being stalked. It's serious. Don't be afraid to say something. Because one thing leads to another...

And trust me, you won't be happy when the worst happens. You fill in the blank _________________.

Are you happy now???

Monday, January 16, 2012

HEROES Week~ Hero!

Today is Martin Luther King Jr. Day (again!) and that means it's time for HEROES week once again!
First, let's go over the meaning of HEROES (I came up with the meaning when I was twelve, so bear with me).

Help, because
Everyone has a chance and deserves proper
Respect. It's too quick for anyone's life to be
Over, and to listen and be a friend can really save a life.
Everyone needs to be a hero.
Stand for what's right.

This annual series was originally based off Superchick's hit "Hero."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hero

No one sits with him,
He doesn't fit in
But we feel like we do when we make fun of him.
'Cause you want to belong,
Do you go along
'Cause his pain is the price paid for you to belong?
It's not like we hate him or want him to die
But maybe he goes home and thinks suicide
Or he comes back to school with a gun at his side
And the kindness of you might have saved his life...

Heroes are made when you make a choice.

You could be a hero,
Heroes do what's right.
You could be a hero,
You might save a life.
You could be a hero,
You could join the fight
For what's right
For what's right
For what's right.

No one talks to her,
She feels so alone,
She's in too much pain to survive on her own.
The hurt she can't handle overflows to a knife,
She writes on her arm, wants to give up her life.
Each day she goes on is a day that she's brave.
Fighting the lie that giving up is the way.
Each moment of courage, her own life she saves
When she throws the pills out, a hero is made.

Heroes are made when you make a choice.

You could be a hero,
Heroes do what's right.
You could be a hero,
You might save a life.
You could be a hero,
You could join the fight
For what's right
For what's right
For what's right.

No one talks to him about how he lives,
He thinks that the choices he makes are just his.
Doesn't know he's a leader with the way he behaves,
And others will follow the choices he's made.
He lives on the edge, he's old enough to decide.
His brother who wants to be him is just nine.
He can do what he wants
Because it's his right.
The choices he makes change a nine-year-old's life.

Heroes are made when you make a choice.

You could be a hero,
Heroes do what's right.
You could be a hero,
You might save a life.
You could be a hero,
You could join the fight
For what's right
For what's right
For what's right.

Little Mikey D. was the one in class who everyday a bully harassed.
This went on for years until he decided that never again would he shed another tear
So he walked through the door,
Grabbed a 4'4' out of his father's dresser drawer,
He said "I can't take life no more"
And like that,
Life can be lost.

But THIS AIN'T EVEN ABOUT THAT,
All of us just sat back and watched it happen.
Thinking "it's not my responsibility to solve a problem that isn't about me."
This IS our problem!
This is just one of the daily scenarios in which we choose to close our eyes instead of doing the right thing.
If we make a choice to be the voice for those who won't speak up for themselves,
How many lives would be saved, changed and rearranged?
Now it's OUR TIME to pick a side.
So don't keep walking by,
Not wanting to intervene
'Cause you just wanna exist and never be seen.
So let's wake up
And change the world
Our time is now.

You could be a hero (our. time. is. Now!)
Heroes do what's right.
You could be a hero (our. time. is. Now!)
You might save a life.
You could be a hero (our. time. is. Now!)
You could join the fight
For what's right...
What's right...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Does this song seem familiar to you? Probably. Superchick was a very popular band when this song came out. Superchick has a lot of other inspiring songs, so check out:

"One More" (one of my absolute favorites!)
"Courage" (mainly about anorexia nervosa)
"Hold" (most beautiful Superchick song... ever...)
"We Live" (live your life before it has a visible expiration date)
"Stand in the Rain" (my church's Christian Band a few years back performed this song... didn't make Nationals, but would have if the vocalist didn't forget some lyrics and the drummer didn't, um, break a drum...)
"So Beautiful" (about how you're beautiful the way you are)

When I first heard "Hero," I was a nine-year-old moshing at a concert. Yes, nine. AND moshing. I never thought of this song, as, like, anything. I had a lot of friends, but I was also homeschooled and didn't experience bullying the way I do now. I do not really get bullied, but everyone experiences it. And in most cases, it does NOT feel good. There are three people you can be:
  • The bullied
  • The bully
  • The by-stander
Pick a side. You wanna know who I am? Well, most of us have been all three. Even the bully. I will explain to you my stories and why I sometimes fit in all three categories.

I have been insulted---a lot---for my awkward personality. I am socially awkward, but not in a quiet way... I mean in a really weird and really loud way. I've done some super weird things since I've started eighth grade at my new school. I had some leeway, but not much, for being Faith's sister. The eleventh and tenth-graders are highly looked up to at my school (no seniors go there yet). Faith is a sophomore, so all my teachers were like, "Who are you? What's your last name? Ezell? Aw, you're Faith's sister! And your name is Hope? Aw, you two are just little cuties!" Yeah, the majority of my teachers are girls, as you'd expect. But despite how annoying it is to explain the fact I am related to Faith, the teachers... eh, some of them.... love me becase Faith is like, an overachiever so they expected me to be... but no, I'm a bit of an under-achiever. I get the work done, but I chillax while doing so. So, there are some people that don't like me. Students, in particular. 

There are three social classes in my half of the grade, that's 27 kids.
  • The populars, who are actually really nice.
  • The thinks-they're-populars, who turn you into a mean girl or jock the second you start hanging out with them.
  • My group, which is a lot of black girls, class clowns, math geeks (which that I am not and I kinda wish I was).
  • There's only really one outcast, and that's the scary part.
The populars are very nice to pretty much everyone. The author of "Mid-Morning Sunset" is in that group, and he's actually like, probably the top of that group's food chain, as weird as that may sound. That group is very inclusive, and my group, even though it's full of really weird kids (not saying black kids are weird, though, after all I am one), my group is slightly connected to theirs. Especially because me and a couple kids from the popular group are trying to start a band and it's not working very well... I dropped my guitar on the bus...

The thinks-they're-populars are really mean. However, it is possible to join that group and not morph into the stereotype of a cheerleader. Kiana, the author of "A Box of Horrible Treasures" (nominated for the Best Blog of 2011, so please vote) is in that group and is still the same. Again, they are mean. Like, our science teacher had to move this kid's assigned seat because he talks too much. We had to sit next to each other last quarter and neither of us were very happy about it. So, he moved to a seat that's... tada!... right next to little Hopie. "Ugh, I have to sit next to Hope again???" He asked. Of course, the kids in his group laughed. I didn't find that very funny AT ALL, but I laughed along and said, "Oh, what was THAT supposed to mean?" I didn't laugh to cover up how SICK OF HIM I REALLY AM, or to hide how much I wanted to say what he said but right back at him, but to basically say, "I'm not gonna be your little slave. You don't like me? Whatever. I'm just as happy to sit next to you as you are to sit by me. So? Welcome to the third quarter at the Dayton Regional ... School."

Also, when I made the Christmas cards for all 27 eighth graders in my half, that group of kids all rudely tore theirs down or ripped them up. I didn't really expect them to have them to this day, although one kid still has his up and I'm starting to get scared, but I kinda wish they disposed theirs in a nicer way. Like, politely taking it down, folding it, throwing it away. Or, a thank-you could totally work. But that's alright. The 1 thank-you I got after a month of work on 27 cards made it worth it. Only 1 thank-you. Kinda sad, isn't it? But hey, at least someone cared that I spent a lot of time to make everyone smile.

How have I been the bully? Well I joke around a lot. Sometimes it pushes a little too far. But don't worry, I'm quick to apologize. Plus, I've been taking life a lot more seriously lately and people actually come to me for advice. So, yes, I do have good advice if you don't believe me... just "Ask me Anything" in my "Ask Me Anything" page! You have a question? I have an answer.

Most of the time I am a by-stander. "Hero" reaches out to me a lot because, every time I write out the lyrics to this song it reminds me of who I am, what I've done. Now that I am public-schooled, this song is more real than ever before. "It's not my responsibilty to solve a problem that isn't about me," that's what I've been thinking. But, you know what? "This IS our problem!" The problem is that, right there. We step back, do nothing, watch lives fade when we have perfect access to watch them suffer... perfect access to do something. I want to help, but I'm "not wanting to intervene" because I "just wanna exist and never be seen." I want to be seen---we all do---but sometimes it can be like, "Me? Talk to him? No, everyone will give me crap about it." But you have to step out of your comfort zone. Because life? More important than popularity.

Our time is now.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Wake Up, America!

Alright, if there's one thing Bob marley taught me, it's to "Get up, stand up... stand up for your right." Today in school, I learned to do just that.

And by the way, this post is not targetted toward a younger audience. If you are below the age of twelve, I do not recommend reading this post. It's not bad stuff, but it is talking about some serious problems that are going on in the world today, and I'm not editting it to where it's completely safe for all ages this time. So if you are under twelve, there are fluffier posts on here to read (wow, I feel like Lemony Snicket right now...). Like my post about genetics that will help you pass eighth grade biology when you're in that grade (and did I mention I think I passed today's Bio test because of this song??? AHHH!!!).

So, it's time to wake up, America, because we've been asleep for far too long. This post will be talking about how our country is slowly following a dark path... and a darker path... but how there are still pieces of hope, and how we are getting closer and closer to that day...

Saturday, January 7, 2012

My Response to Evolution

I believe in intelligent design... *says in smart voice.* Alright, I'm not gonna try and be smart... let's get to the point.


"If the whole universe has no meaning, we should never have found out that it has no meaning: just as, if there were no light in the universe and therefore no creatures with eyes, we should never know it was dark. Dark would be without meaning."
-Clive Staples Lewis

CS Lewis, you're my new boyfriend. We have so much in common, like November 22. The day I was born, and the day that you.... died. Yikes. Not fun for you. But it's a party for me!

Anyway, you're so wise. And as you'd expect, I did advance to a higher upgrade of Microsoft Word... turns out, my old version was even older than I thought. 1997. That's older than me! It sickens me that I was using a fifteen-year-old program. So the new Word is so fun to use. It's better than blogging (Gasp!). Yeah, I said better than blogging.

So, guess what? "Unspoken" is going to have a CS Lewis quote in it, one at the very least! I think I'm gonna love this novel, and I hope you will, too!

Major Minus

Major Minus

They got one eye watching you,
One eye on what you do
So be careful who it is you're talking to.
They got one eye watching you,
One eye on what you do,
So be careful what it is you're tryin' a do.

And be careful when you're walking into view.
Just be careful when you're walking into view.

Ooh ooh ooh!
Ooh ooh ooh
Ooh...
Got one eye on the road and one on you---
Ooh ooh ooh!
Ooh ooh ooh
Ooh...
Got one eye on the road and one on...

They got one eye watching you,
One eye on what you do
So be careful 'cause nothing they say is true.
But, they don't believe a word,
It's just us against the world
And we just gotta turn it up to be heard.

Hear those crocodiles tickin' 'round the world.
Hear those crocodiles tickin', they go, tickin' 'round the world.

Ooh ooh ooh!
Ooh ooh ooh
Ooh...
Got one eye on the road and one on you---
Ooh ooh ooh!
Ooh ooh ooh
Ooh...
Got one eye on the road and...

You could hear them climbing the stairs.
I've got my right side fighting while my left hides under the chairs.

Ooh ooh ooh!
Ooh ooh ooh
Ooh...
GOT ONE EYE ON THE ROAD AND ONE ON YOU---
Ooh ooh ooh!
Ooh ooh OOH
Ooh...

Got one eye on the road and one on YOU!

The Puppet

I turn around."Where are you?" I ask, eyes fixed on each corner of the room.
"Right here," it whispers behind my back, daring me to turn back... again.
I will not. I can't.
I can't go back to that dark road,
Step into that deadly fate.
Not even across its borders.
Confused I am, looking all around.
"Can't you see me? I'm right here," It hisses, like I've been blind all along.
And maybe I have been.
But if I am blind to this particular thing, then I can care less.
Only I don't.
Part of me wants to look back, and the mortal side of me gets the best of me.
I turn around to see who is right here, and I see who I am most afraid of.
I see who I thought I would see...
Who I knew I would see...
                                           ...Me.
"Who are you?" I ask, as if I don't already know. I don't ask because I don't know, I ask because I want answers, no matter what they are.
She doesn't answer, but I know who she is.
I examine to find differences and am relieved that I do--- she's full of scars and bruises.
Each one slowly reminding me of different failures in which I have trained myself to forget.
But the longer I remember, the more identical we become.
She only has twelve scars, but I see thirteen on my skin.
Her eyes are blue, but mine are turning black.
She remains, but I am turning gray and I lift my hands, both now transparent.
I try to scream, but my voice has been turned off, like I am someone's puppet.
"Don't you know who I am?" She finally responds, though her timing could have been, I don't know, a little sooner.
I can see she has a cold, cold heart.
"I've been here all along. I'm controlling what you're doing right now. You're a slave to me---you---and you never even tried to stop it, little moron."
Controlling what I'm doing right now...
She means it's my fault for allowing my life to go this way?
She's saying it's me who has enslaved myself?
And if she is me, why is she calling me a moron? I never called myself that...
Did I?
Face it.
I'm the moron.
The slave.
The helpless peasant.
I am the one causing all this.
And I'm doing nothing about it, letting life pass by.
Not anymore.
                      I go back to the start.
I listen to a different voice, one singing a heavenly song.
Soprano, alto, bass, countertenor, baritone... every range.
Flute, violin, harp, trumpets, loud cymbals... perfect harmony.
I'm on a narrow road, scars fading faster now with every step.
Healing.
Misty rain washes away the ashes.
And I am a new person, past completely erased
And here I've finally found my place
Here,
Right here.

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Bummed.

I decided I'd give you a small update on my school life for the first time using my brand new computer.

Let's just say this: no one wants to be suspended, have a sister who is a senior in high school, or have a mom who just had a baby when a field trip (overnight!) to DC comes along. But it happens. And it did happen to four kids in my half of the grade, which sadly, one of which is me (but I'm not the one that got suspended!!!).

Suspension.
I will not go into detail about this, because, um, two students were suspended and if they read that I told you what happened, they will kill me--- one of them is a black belt in Martial Arts, and I don't wanna mess with that. But they were suspended and school policy is, if you're suspended, no matter what time of the year it is, you are NOT going on any overnight field trips. Which makes me kinda sad, because, one of the kids that was suspended was REALLY excited about the trip, and REALLY wanted to go. But oh well. Bad decisions call for bad outcomes.

Graduation.
This one is about me (waaaaah!). My sister, Charity, will be graduating high school on June 10th. Yay! I get my own room, and I'm gonna end up with the bigger room because Faith wants the smaller room for some odd reason so that means more room for my music equipment (a standing bass, keyboard, guitar, karaoke machine to record vocals, only-sounds-you-hear-are-your-music headphones, and oh, my iPod and stereo, plus an electric guitar I'll buy and an amp). But that also means we leave DC the same day of her graduation and we don't get back until 10 p.m. I was really upset when I heard about that, because, don't get me wrong: graduations are kinda boring. But this is my sister we're talking about--- I can't miss my own sister's graduation! I have already missed half of her choir concerts this year, and I'm a little upset about that because this year she's in the Varsity choir, and they're always fun to watch! And last year I only attended one of her tennis matches. Never went to even one track meet or practice. So yeah. And she went to all of my gymnastics meets except for one, all my cheerleading/basketball games because they had food there, and maybe one or two volleyball games. So I have to go to her graduation. If I don't, that's just unacceptable. She went to everything... except for State and National Fine Arts, ha. I went to a lot of her activities, but that was before STEM happened. Before I started going to my area's STEM school (can't say its full name... no time for stalkers). Now, I'm loaded with homework and don't have the time... I had never missed any of Charity's choir concerts since she was a sophomore. And now she's in her final year of high school and I haven't showed up to anything... I'm basically counting down the days to summer... and dreading the days everyone will be at the field trip, except for, hmm, ME, and the kids listed above.

New "BABY BABY BABY OHHHHH!!!!" in the house?
Okay. Me? New baby? Um, not today. But, there is a new baby in someone's house. In fact there are two new babies. The first baby was from a different family that goes to my church. Their baby was born on, guess what day, JANUARY 1ST! They have a New Year's baby! So, everyone's gonna be staying up until 12 a.m. for the ball to drop... staying up until 12.a.m. for her birthday! Then the next family has a kid that has the exact same schedule as me, except for on Wednesdays. We were talking about the field trip and I was complaining about how I can't go because my sister just HAS to graduate this year. What happened to the girl who was a freshman when this blog first started? Well she grew up, so now I probably have to forfeit a trip that I really want to go to. But oh well, I know I'm not the only one--- one kid probably won't go because his mom just had a baby and she needs help with the new baby. So yeah.

So, let's pray we can all (except for the ones that got suspended. Sorry, but you knew what you were doing and you know who you are) make the trip. Wayne, can you guys like, um, completely post-pon your graduation ceremony??? How about the eleventh? That sounds like a good date! But oh well, go on, let me suffer.

May the odds be ever in your favor even though they're not in mine,
Hope!

Sunday, January 1, 2012

...And THIS is Where it BEGINS!

Life's just a sad story, isn't it? It sure is interesting, though. It keeps you up at night, you write about it, blog about it, read about it, sing about it, talk about it, sigh about it, gasp at it, laugh at it, cry because of it, stand still in its awkward moments, live it. And it's one word.

Life.

Life is something that I love, those that know me know that full well. I believe in living life to its fullest, living Life in Technicolor. Because life isn't a coincidence. It's a miracle.

I have a lot of beliefs about life, like the fact I completely contradict the theory of evolution. I'm a Christian, and sorry to my science teacher, but that affects the way I think the earth began also. So I do believe in God. And I believe that if He's real, He wouldn't have just sat back and been like, "Hey! Looky there, a big bang just happened. Holy cow a gorilla just turned into a human." He would have done something.

And I oppose the idea of abortion. (That's what my blog, "Life in Technicolor", is about.) I would never call someone whose had an abortion a "baby killer", because I wouldn't want it shoved in my face that I aborted a fetus. However, I say why ruin a chance at life? Yeah, maybe its heart isn't beating until thirteen weeks along, but why take away someone's chance at life. Someone who doesn't have the power to choose to live or die. Someone you might regret losing. Someone whose life is in your hands. What would YOU do in this situation?

And even if you made a huge mistake in 2011, HaHa!!!!! Welcome to 2012!!!! We can wipe the slate clean! A new start! And you can stop saying "I will..." now. What ARE you doing to make it happen?

My new year's resolution is to be a nicer person, slower to be hater. I would also like to be more reliable. And maybe a couple inches taller? 5'9" just isn't working for me. I also want to gain back my artistic side of me. And, since by the end of the year I will be a freshman in high school, at my school the high schoolers get netbooks (we're a STEM school) and they have Audacity downloade on them, so you know what this means? I'm gonna try to record at least four covers of songs I am good at. Some songs that will definitely make the lineup are "Skyscraper" by Demi Lovato and "Your Love Never Fails" by Jesus Culture. Some other songs that will make it are "Shoreline" by Deas Vail and "Misery Business" by Paramore. Maybe even "Who You Are" by Jessie J.

All these "I will..."s are making my head spin. What am I doing RIGHT NOW to make it happen? I failed being nicer last night at a new year's party while trying to fix this guy's hair and my friend ruined it and I politely pushed her to move her out of the way. But it was all good... I just had to fix his hair. I'm not a hater anymore! I never really was... there was just a lot of people on my "naughty list". So I decided to clear everyone who was on it's names. More reliable? I saved a baby's life! How's that for reliable? A couple inches taller? I'm eating some serious meat. Becoming artistic? Doing my nails once a week like I used to and I painted my guitar. What should I do with my keyboard? And recording covers? Um, I don't have my netbook yet because I still gotta finish eighth grade.

I think I see a good 2012 coming on...