Monday, December 31, 2012

One More Night

"I cross my heart and I hope to die that I'll only stay with you one more night..."

No, there's no Maroon 5 fan here. But that is a song that I can't stop humming. It gets stuck in my head so easily... it's that one song I hate but can't stop dancing to.

Wow, what a great way to start a blog post. Already off-topic at 12:00 a.m. Maybe that's why. I should be going to bed soon, you know, after that manuscript I didn't finish, that Language Arts paper I never started, and yeah, that song I never finished writing. And all the Chinese I barely studied. And all the places I didn't go to. And all the workouts I didn't do. Such a long day.

So, there is only one night left of 2012. Thank God. I think it is safe to say that... well... I don't know about you, but as for me...

This was the stupidest year and a waste of 366 days. This was seriously my worst year... ever. And believe me, I've had some bad years. I mean, 2009... wow! And 1998 sucked because of the one main event that happened... just kidding, I love my life and it is wonderful. But this year I have met more annoying, dumb people than ever before. EVER before. And I was letting the idiots get to me... not that they were being mean to me personally, just that I was starting to want to cut their heads off and burn them at the stake and leave the remains for the vultures. But I'm not like that anymore, I talked some sense into myself. You're gonna meet people that you don't like, and you gotta cooperate with them. Maybe they'll figure out how stupid they are and suddenly become likable. Or you'll learn to like them. I don't know.

So, 2013 will be the year I do things right. I probably will also say this about 2014. And 2015. And 2016. And so on. But in the moment, it feels right to make a resolution that I probably will not live up to.

  1. Get better grades. I realized that I am one of those students who has to study two weeks in advance, non-stop, to get a good grade. So as you'd imagine I hate pop quizzes. I just about always fail them. So, in order to change that, I am going to study non-stop. I WILL get into National Honors Society and I WILL graduate in the top 75% of my class (there's like, fifty people) so I can get into the colleges of my choice and go on to collegiate cheerleading.
  2. Start sending work to publishers. This will be the year that I get crap done. I have to start sending work to people if I want to be published by senior year. I said to myself, if all else fails, publish a book. It will save my college applications (and so will my ability to write good essays). I need rejection time, because there is no good writer who hasn't gone through at least a year of rejection letters.
  3. Get out there. Guys, you realize that outside of school and church I really do nothing with my time. Sleeping is my hobby. I am also a night owl who has 32 minutes left of battery power at 1:01 a.m. So I will try to not be as tired everyday so I can be more involved in life. Social activities, sports, worship team, etc.

So, these are my top three things I am very likely not to do. How 'bout you?

谢谢 and 再见!

Saturday, December 29, 2012

Keep Calm And....

Okay, am I the only person who gets annoyed by these "Keep calm and carry on" things? I just think they're really stupid. But I felt like I had to say this:

Keep calm and watch Blimey Cow.

Before you ask what Blimey Cow is, let me tell you it is really the best show on the Internet. Really. Like, it's so good that I spent about five hours watching it in HD on YouTube yesterday. And it takes a lot to make me get on YouTube these days when I have Spotify, Facebook, iTunes, television, my own music to write... ain't nobody got time for that. But these people make me get on YouTube, every Monday. You wanna know why? Let me share with you some of my favorite videos and then I'll tell you who they are.

Aren't these videos so funny? They also have good points. The main thing I like is that these people are great influences for Christian teenagers and young adults. Most of my friends wait until Wednesday to watch Jenna Marbles. Yeah, you might not want to watch that. Not saying that I do, but I've seen some of her stuff and it is terrible. But these guys... totally family friendly and hilarious! And they have really good morals, as seen in this video:
Take THAT, world!

So anyways, who are these people? They are Josh, Jordan, Amy and Kelli Taylor! Jordan is a sophomore (or junior?)  in college who was homeschooled all the way through high school. I don't know about the rest of them, but I'm assuming they were, too. Josh is his older brother and Kelli is Josh's lovely wife! Yes, they are on my list of cutest couples.

Aren't they so cute? The Blimey Cow videos (I didn't embed these) "Ten Ways to Get a Girl/Right Guy to Like You" are said to be based on their friendship and marriage.

Now, about Jordan. Have you heard his guitar playing? He is sooooooooooo much better at it than I am, like seriously. I cannot play that well. I know A, Am, C, Cadd9, D, Dm, E, Em, F, G and that's it. I strum and can do simple picking. But nothing like what he does. Yeah, I am a singer-songwriter, but I am still kinda learning the art of music.

I'm gonna have to stop this post here because I am suposed to be editing my story to start sending to publishing houses... oops.

Need more Blimey Cow? Here's where you can get some (and not just on Messy Mondays!):

Blimey Cow website
Blimey Cow merchandise
Blimey Cow Twitter
Blimey Cow Tumblr
Kelli Taylor Blogspot (go follow her! She's got some good stuff!)

Thank you for all the work you put into Blimey Cow and I hope the show last for many, many more years!

Tuesday, December 25, 2012


Merry Christmas from the Ezell house!

No white Christmas in Ohio, y'all. I stopped wishing for those a long time ago. But, it was still great so far. THIS GIRL got a new guitar!!!! It's an acoustic-electric!

Be jealous! Haha, don't be. But isn't it pretty, my blue baby? She's hard to play because my parents didn't get me a lefty guitar >:(. But whatevs. I'm gonna give this guitar a try.

So, there's not really a use of the whole "don't forget what this holiday is about" talk because I think most of us have heard enough of that. Still, though. Linus has something to say to you.

Last year, I gave you guys a sad song, Christmas Lights. What should the sad song be this year? Should it be sad at all? Hmm...

I'm sorry. I had to do it. I grew up with this song. Now, two songs that aren't as gloomy...

"Do You Hear What I Hear?" by Abandon Kansas
"O Come O Come Emmanuel" by Deas Vail

Well, merry Christmas, everyone and weaves off to you!

Saturday, December 22, 2012

Path of Time

Once upon a time I used to care
When we were everything to each other
When you were who I wanted to be.
Somewhere along the path of time we lost it
We were close to each other
When you were a friend to me.
At this time I don't even care and I want you to get out of my life.
Right now. Today.
I still love you, but leaving is what you need.
I do not know you, stranger. Leave. Now.
Why are you still here? I'm done with you. Leave.
Somewhere along the path of time we lost it
And now it's out of control.
I used to care and I don't anymore.
Why are you still here?

Everybody Lies

Everybody Lies

We do what we have to when we fall in love.
Say what we need to get out when it's not enough.
Whether it's to yourself
Or looking at someone else,

Everybody lies, lies, lies.
It's the only truth sometimes.
It doesn't matter if it's out there somewhere waiting for the world to find
Or buried deep inside.
Everybody lies.

Just being honest, we're playing for both sides.
It's easy to deceive but it's hard when the trust that's broken is mine.
For better or for worse.
For the happy, for the hurt.

Everybody lies, lies, lies.
It's the only truth sometimes.
It doesn't matter if it's out there somewhere waiting for the world to find
Or buried deep inside.
Everybody lies.

Everybody lives and everybody dies.
Oh, it doesn't matter if it's out there somewhere waiting for the world to find or buried deep inside,
Or buried deep inside...

Everybody lies.

Sometimes Be Romantic, Always Realistic.

"Life isn't always romantic. Sometimes, it's realistic."
-Ezra Fitzgerald (Pretty Little Liars)

Like I've mentioned many times before, I love to dream. I also love being logical. Not a good mix, I guess. But it can be.

Being a dreamer and thinking with logic contradicts itself easily. I mean, I believe I can fly, but that defies the laws of gravity. See how weird that is?

I love being a romantic. I dream about everything, especially love. But take a step back into reality. Sometimes, an issue arises when you have to realize that you can't sit around dreaming. Things happen, and you have to understand that life isn't always perfect, but it will never fail to be real.

If there's anything about freshman year that hasn't wasted my time, it's learning. Not about math (not even close), but about myself. I have discovered who I really am. For one, I've discovered that...


Do you love Disney? This blog is everything Disney!
Well, I strongly dislike MOST people, anyways. But that's not it.

But I've discovered that my so-called dreaming is ruining my reality, destroying it piece by piece. I expect something, I don't get it, I lecture myself in my mind about how stupid I was. Same cycle over and over.

"I go back and forth and then forth and then back and then round in circles..."
-Anthem Lights

You know, mind of mine, this is starting to get old. Does anyone else feel like me? I can't really describe how I feel. Right now, I feel like a toddler who just doesn't know how to communicate.

"There is so much pain, you know? And I don't know how to not notice it."
-Perks of Being a Wallflower (movie)

Sorry with all these quotes, but by now you should know I'm a little less than professional on this blog. This is the one place I can write and really be... me. Everything else is just a modified version of me and my art. Except for in my journal. But here, I can actually talk to someone, even if that someone happens to be 20 people. It's still someone, and not someone who's gonna try to talk to me about things I'd rather not. This blog runs like a mini version of my mind--- chaotic, off-topic, quirky. And I like that you can see that.

My Language Art and US History teachers would both be poking at my writing right now, thinking this is a horrible post. But this isn't for a grade, and this is me, unedited. No editors checking my work, no revisions. Straight from my mind, every typo, every grammatical error.

And you know, right now, at 11:48 p.m. ET is when I realize what this blog is about. It's about my life, and somehow trying to make sense of it and see if it relates to yours. My Life, and YOURS. It's about all my imperfections, because I know someone else feels the same--- someone has to. I know that I can touch someone with my life, with my thoughts, with my problems. Real life isn't edited, and that's exactly what this blog is. I used to delete my "angry posts," but you might have noticed I don't do that anymore. That rage I was feeling in the moment is nothing to be ashamed of, and might be able to help someone.

And right now, at 12:00 a.m. ET, I realize how much I have strayed away from the original topic. Yup, if this were a school paper, this girl would have an F. Not too surprised, though. I mean, I've pretty much given up on most of what school has to offer. I've tried my hardest and still colleges are gonna have a hard time accepting me. I don't know why school is so hard for me, I don't have any disabilities. I'm just not good at this.

I just forgot what I ate for dinner. Oh, right. Lasagna. Never mind. Carry on.

Back to the topic I left off on, since this post doesn't have a real structure going on. You know, I realized that I can't be good at everything and I gotta accept it. I don't have a 4.0. So... accept it. Some people are flaunty about their grades and make my Bs sound like Fs. So... stop hanging around them. How I over complicate things sometimes.

I am really sorry about how poorly-written this post is. I just really needed to say something. Because if I speak it either no one will hear or I won't have the courage to speak at all. Another thing I must talk about which draws us back in to the original topic...

Romantics. How cute we can be. Well, today I am just, you know, scrolling through Facebook and I see one of my favorite couples (a couple that I actually know in real life). I see a ring on the girl's finger and think to myself, "FINALLY!" I've known the groom-to-be since he was younger than I currently am. I listen to his music. And now he's tying the knot. I'm so proud of both of them. I adore couples like them and his parents, and I can't wait for that to be me, about to get married, "young and dumb and in love."

And that saddens me.

Right now, I'm not sure if that'll ever be me. I don't want to love anyone right now. I don't want to trust anyone right now. And I know I'm only a freshman and people tell me I have a lot of time, but it's hard not to be worried when everyone around you is changing and becoming their own person and you feel like you're falling behind.

I feel like I'm falling behind.

I mean, there have been so many guys I've thought I've loved to the point where I just don't wanna fall for anyone anymore. You may be thinking, "pssh, you're a fourteen-year-old girl. You don't like anyone? Not even One Direction? Don't you have hormones?"

Let me answer those questions. Yes, I do have hormones, but when I do like a guy, it's long term. I can like someone forever, I can love them forever. It's only when I'm hurt when that cycle has to end. When I know it's only hurting me. And no, I actually kinda hate One Direction.

So I guess I'm kinda thankful for being single. I can easily detach myself from something bad without a breakup. But I still feel alone kinda.

And the problem is, I think I am starting to like this one guy and I hate it. I really do hate it. I don't want to swoon every time he walks by. I don't want to dress up pretty for him (I like my sweatpants, thank you very much), especially because my school is freezing and I gravitate toward my ugly and warm clothes much more than my cold and pretty ones. And lastly...

I don't want to fall for him. Because I know how much it won't progress. I know that guys don't like me. They just don't. I mean, I really am not that pretty and I can admit it without insecurity. I am not depressed about it, just stating a fact.

Maybe God just doesn't want me to have a boyfriend right now. Maybe He doesn't even want me to get married. I really want to, but...

Life isn't gonna be the way I want it to be. Sometimes, it's the way it has to be. So, Hope, suck it up.

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Eh, It's Just Life.

Today I am blogging from the school cafeteria. I'm supposed to go to class in ten minutes, but I was bored (seriously? A day in high school when you can be bored? Amazing!) and felt like blogging.

I guess I csn blog about my surroundings right now.

Well, my friend Makayla was poking around my iPod and switching my songs and such. Some random kids started yelling. Children are starting to go to class. Children are stressed, etc.

So, this is the average morning for a high school student with a less than impressive GPA. Lower than 4.0, higher than 3.0 so far. Freshman year is just stupid.

I lost most of the hair on the left side of my head because I had to build a car using Autodesk Inventor and now that I'm done with the project, I'm pretty darn sure I failed.

Physics and Math are two of my lowest grades right now and Language Arts just won't become an A. Hopefully, it will after my exam.

So this is life. As much as I hate it sometimes, I'm glad I can still live it. If you don't live in the US, basically there was an elementary school shooting in Connecticut last week, killing 27 people. 20 of which were students. It's not my pain, and it's not something I lost sleep about. But it made me remember that my life can be lost at any moment, any minute, any hour.

So, all this to say, live like you're dying. Because in reality, we are.

Saturday, November 24, 2012

Disney Music: What's So Special?

I am a 90s kid and a Disney freak. And I'm not talking "Shake it Up" or "Hannah Montana." I'm talking "Mulan," "The Lion King," "That's So Raven."

But even more than the movies and shows, I'm in love with the music. You may be thinking, "of course you are! All you write about is music!" Well guys, I am trying to control my music obsession. But come on, I'm a fourteen-year-old girl (my birthday was on Thanksgiving this year). It's good enough that I even use proper grammar.

Disney music captivates me. Even more than Deas Vail does. Okay, maybe I went too far with that one. But my point is, Disney music truly catches my attention in every way--- the languages spoken, the symbolism, the exotic instruments, the scenes the songs were played in, the beauty. There's just something about Disney that really makes me feel more emotions than I thought I possibly could.

Here are some Disney songs that really attract me.

"National Treasure Suite" from National Treasure by Trevor Rabin. This song really captures the suspense, mystery, and history of the movie. I can literally see Nicholas Cage walking through Washington, D.C. with the Declaration of Independence in his hand, like a boss (sorry, I hate it when people say "like a boss" because it sounds so stupid, but it sounded appropriate to write it at the moment). Thanks for painting the picture, Trevor.

"He Lives in You" from The Lion King by Lebo M. This is another one that puts me inside of the Pride Lands. I can see that monkey thing waving his binky thing, I can see Mufasa smiling down on Simba, and then there's me sitting in a lonely corner with a box of tissues. I don't know why I find this song so sad. Maybe it's because Mufasa died and it's about him living on through Simba and watching over the Pride Land. It also reminds me of Christianity in itself. Mufasa , aside from the fact that he's the one that died, reminds me of God ("he watches over everything we see") and Simba is like Jesus ("In your reflection, he lives in you"). I really think this song has a deeper meaning than Disney makes it out to be.

"I'll Make a Man Out of You" from Mulan by Donny Osmond. This song is very inspiring. Strong harmonics and all. It teaches me to get up and try again. "You're unsuited for the rage of war, so pakc up, go home, you're through. How could I make a man out of you?" If you've seen this 1998 film, you know what Mulan does next. She proves him wrong. It shows you don't have to be a man to be a hero, be it a war hero or a firefighter.

"Circle of Life" from The Lion King by Carmen Twillie and Lebo M. This song is so pretty. Just pretty and cute. Especially when watching the movie along with it.... baby Simba is just irresistable!

I might do a 2.0 post of this... comment what your favorite Disney song is and why!

Friday, November 16, 2012


Wanna know what band I'm auditioning to join in four years? Check out North Central University's One Accord!

It is official, guys. I have no idea where I'm going after high school. At first it was clear. Graduate from high school, go to Evangel University for four years, get a Master of Writing from New York University. I was gonna be a cheerleader at Evangel, join the worship team, join CROSSwalk, train at Missouri Valley Gymnastics, get involved in music.

But then I heard about North Central's state-of-the-art recording studio. And One Accord lead worship at this year's Ohio Youth Convention. I love cheering and athletics and all, but how can I turn down the opportunity to record an entire album?

And then I remember that I can make music forever. But I won't be able to do a back handspring twenty years from now.

And then I remember that I chose to quit cheerleading, whereas music has been a non-failing passion of mine. Ugh.

This band has not made my decision for college any easier. Thank God I'm a freshman.

Under the direction of Jeff Deyo (the "Moving Mountains" singer-songwriter), here's One Accord!

The lead vocalist, (the main guy talking really) used to go to my church! Pretty cool, right? Hardly any OA songs are on YouTube, and I am not technologically talented enough to make my own videos, but here is "Adonai," written by Evan John and performed by all of One Accord (I think that's Morgan Meade doing the lead vocals)!

Isn't this song so beautiful? This is only one of ten masterpieces.

Wanna know my favorites? I loooooooove the title track, "Exhilaration." It's super catchy. I showed some of my friends who had not gone to Youth Convention this song, and ten seconds in, they're going, "whoa ohhhhh, whoa oh oh oh oh oh ohhhhhhhh..." and the message is not only fun, but energetic and lively. "You put the breath within my lungs. You put a new song on my tongue. Once I was bound by all my shame, now I have freedom in Your name! There's a fire bruning deep in my bones, yeah it's raging, blazing out of control, oh, EXHILARATION! I'm a new creation." Goes right along with my favorite Bible verse, 2 Corinthians 5:17. I don't know if that's coincidence or not.

"The Bride Arising" is another favorite of mine. The harmonics = perfect (see? I told you I cna do math!). This makes me think of the Biblical book Revelation. "I see a church on a new horizon." Why? Because "we are Your bride arising! We are Your church united! We long to worship."

And then, of course, "Adonai." This song, this poetry, this music, THIS.

I've even got David Tennant on my side, guys.

This sounds like something David wrote and played on his harp. Does this not belong in Psalms? I think it does. It's so peaceful and takes me out of the 21st century for five minutes and twenty seconds. "The mountains shake, the hills they run, seas they calm before You, God. The sun stands still, the heavens sing, the cosmos bows before You, God."

The serenity I feel listening to this album is like...

(Sorry, I had to post the puppy.)


no jayrocking
Overall, my reaction to this album is...


Monday, November 5, 2012

A Prayer for the Voters of Today and Tomorrow

Tuesday, November 6.

The most important day of 2012. This has been such an inspiring, important year. London Olympics, Louisville Fine Arts Festival, and a year of personal change for me.

Change has always been a word I've feared. I've never really liked it for the most part. I hate meeting a friend I used to know and love a few years later to see that they're not even close to the same. I hate having to learn things the hard way. I hate how my friends are constantly leaving.

This may be a year of change. Hopefully more of a change than President Barack Obama promised us back in 2008. I really wish I could vote during this election, because it means so much to me. But because my eighteenth birthday takes place in the middle of my college freshman year in 2016 at the end of November, I can't vote for presidential elections until 2020, along with the current nine-year-old. I will be twenty-one then.

My prayer is that tomorrow, Christians will really step out and vote. That they will vote for the most pro-life, the most pro-traditional marriage, the most pro-religious rights candidate possible.

I know, I know. I may as well have said "Vote for Romney," huh? Well, I won't. I'll leave it up to you who you want to vote for.

But pray to the Lord who watches over our nation about who He wants you to vote for. Because whether you like it or not...

We are one nation under God. United we stand on November 6, 2012...

Sunday, October 21, 2012

Top 26 Christian Songs

There was a time when I didn't listen to Christian music because it felt like all the songs sounded the same. If you feel that way, here are some extremely unique Christian songs with powerful music and lyrics!

1. "Shoreline" by Deas Vail. "So You say I can't be alive until there is nothing when we're meeting eyes again."
2. "All of Me for All of You" by Deas Vail. "I fall to the bottom and reach up my hands to the Lord of forgiveness of this mortal man."
3. "Falling" by Paul Baloche.
4. "Two Hands" by Jars of Clay. "I am a house that is divided in my heart and in my mind."
5. "You Are My Vision" by Rend Collective Experiment translated from the Irish hymn written by St. Patrick.
6. "Alive (Mary Magdalene)" by Natalie Grant. "Who could speak and send the demons back from where they came with just one Name?"
7. "Promises" by Sanctus Real. "Hold on to the promises."
8. "Birds" by Deas Vail.
9. "Undone" by FFH.
10. "Love Came Down" by Kari Jobe.
11. "Wait" by Group1Crew.
12. "Moving Mountains" by Jeff Deyo.
13. "We Are" by Kari Jobe.
14. "Safe" by Britt Nicole (pretty sure this video has the wrong lyrics).
15. "On and On" by Chasen.
16. "For Those Who Wait" by Fireflight. "I know I'm not the only one."
17. "Light it Up" by For KING & COUNTRY.
18. "Steady My Heart" by Kari Jobe.
19. "Keep Your Eyes Open" by NEEDTOBREATHE.
20. "Back at My Heart" by Natalie Grant.
21. "True Intimacy" by Rend Collective Experiment and Laura Gaither.
22. "Desert Soul" by Rend Collective Experiment. "I love You, Lord. But I want to love You more."
23. "Christ Has Set Me Free" by Rend Collective Experiment.
24. "Forgiven" by Sanctus Real.
25. "Losing" by Tenth Avenue North. A personal favorite of mine by far. "Father, won't You forgive them, 'cause they don't know what they been doing?" I'm feeling some black pride right when the choir comes in.
26. "Break Me Down" by Tenth Avenue North.

See! Christian music isn't at all plain, once you find some good stuff. While it is okay to listen to non-Christian music, make sure what you're hearing is encouraging you and giving you a positive message!

Saturday, October 20, 2012

They Are Only As Far Away As You Believe

Dreams. Those who have been reading for awhile or know me in person know I am a dreamer. Little by little I am living my dreams. Every once in awhile someone tries to ruin it for me. Every once in awhile I let them. Every once in awhile I'm strong enough to overcome that. But no matter what, I have a dream and I refuse to let it slip out of my hands.

My week was bad. Just bad. These three people have just been getting on my nerves a lot lately, and I'm like, "Oh my gosh." I try to blame it on the Physics (it really screws with your brain). But nope. It's more than that. You think you can trust someone with something you give them in confidence, but someone takes it from them... along with your personal thoughts and secrets. You're trying to confront someone about how irritatingly, stupidly, unacceptably, terribly, unnecessarily rude they are and they snap at you. You're talking to a friend about something and someone looks at you like you're the ugliest person they've ever seen. You get nominated for homecoming court during your first year of high school and some girl gives you a once-over and laughs at you. You're talking about a deep passion of yours and someone insults your guitar playing. You get called a ..... repeatedly by a kid who doesn't know how to shut his mouth. You hear one of your best friends talking behind your back.

So, I have been letting my emotions get in the way of my goals. People keep trying to ruin things for me. I'll put my input into something and it's almost always used against me. I, like all the rest of the world, am misunderstood. The thing is, I am easier to decode than most people. You just have to be willing to get to know me. I don't really keep secrets.

I'm the girl who dreams when she's awake, asleep and all that's in between. The girl who would rather be at gymnastics than a party (but unfortunately can't). The girl whose goals stop at dreams because she doesn't feel encouraged to take it further than that.

Some people tell me to go for it. Some don't want me to. Some tell me not to even try. Pretty much everyone I know knows that I'm pretty much destined to be a writer, whether they know that through me practically being the ninth-grade-unofficial-proofreader for the whole class, being a blogger, writing poetry, or my fiction writing (which very few people have access to). But when it comes to music? "You sing well, but I don't know if you could make a career out of this" or some people don't even think I can do that. I gave up my valedictorian dreams when I found out I had an unforgiving C in math for the quarter. I have truly realized how much I've given up on myself.

A lot of it is fear. I'm doing either a sermon or essay for Fine Arts next year about fear. Fear that I can't do it. Fear that people won't like me. Fear that I'll look stupid. Those are the chains holding me back.

But listen. Your dreams are only as far away as you say they are. If you think you can do it, chances are you can. You need to take those chances. Fear God, not man. And don't doubt yourself. We are all weak, yes, but there is only One who is strong anyway. So chase those dreams. Go wherever God leads you. Pray about it, read the scripture, and soon it will all be clear.

"...And to the ends of the earth."
-Acts 1:8

What is your calling?

Saturday, October 13, 2012

The Best Lyrics EVER

The songs you are about to hear are on here for one reason: their lyrics. Ever listen to a song but you're only really hearing the beat? These songs make me want to stop and really hear what they're saying. What about you?

1. "My Oldest Friend" by Andrew Belle. "Do you know I miss you in my life... I was only looking out for me instead of getting you the help you need. Now who do you think you are? Who do I think I am, barely listening to my oldest, my oldest friend?" Andrew himself says this song is about losing a friend. Whether it's about death or loss of friendship, I do not know.

2. "With You I Never Lose" by Athlete. "I'm not letting go just yet but everything is telling me to."

3. "Chances" by Athlete. "It's all about your cries and kisses. Those first steps that I can't calculate... how to start again..."

4. "Get Up" by Barcelona. "Crawling on the ash, she's pitiful. She's lost her sense of light, she has to hold my hand. And I know we might be two kids without their jackets. My fear would come alive... she might not make it home tonight. Get up... get up..."

5. "Dare to Believe" by Boyce Avenue. "We've been in the dark for way too long. But when we turn around, we see a light shine through the haze. So forget about who was wrong, 'cause I have never been more ready to turn this page."

6. "Christmas Lights" by Coldplay. "When you're still waiting for the snow to fall, it doesn't really feel like Christmas at all."

7. "Birds" by Deas Vail and Matt Thiessen from Relient K. "When I'm just one fighting indifference, does it matter what I say? Oh God, how much does it take for us to be loved, for us to be saved? We are all birds stuck inside our cage, covered up with praise, and behind our saints we hide our face."

8. "Meeting in Doorways" by Deas Vail. "Your leaves are falling, dear. Our season's over. I will wait for one more year when leaves will fall again. 'Til your memory comes and goes, that slow reminder that my eyes will finally close and not come back again. Ooh ooh ooh ooh letting you go-o-o-o-o-o-o-o ooh ooh ooh ooh only to know-o-o-o-oh. Life is unpredictable oh oh oh oh oh..."

9. "Amen" by Edens Edge. "Yeah right, like I really could have said something. You wouldn't have heard it if a train was coming. You had your head so high in the clouds. Oh I, I had a really good reason for hiding my feelings but now I can finally spit it out. Someone give me an amen. SOMEONE GIVE ME AMEN! Can I get a 'thank God hallelujah'? He finally saw what she was doin' to ya. Your momma called and she was right. Glad to see you SO ALIVE! The whole town, yeah they hooped and hollered, she drove away, nobody stopped her. Na na na na na, I'll sing it again. Someone give me an AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMEN!"

10. "Too Good to be True" by Edens Edge. "Too good to be true. Like diamonds on the soles of my shoes. Like money falling out of the blue. Don't be fooled. He ain't nothing but too good to be real. Don't believe the way he's making you feel. He'll break your pretty heart in two. Momma told me 'bout boys like you. Too good to be true... La la lied like a politician, should have read the headlines, payed more attention to my suspicion, my intuition, I SHOULD HAVE LISTENED..."

11. "Undone" by FFH. "The secrets I keep are tearing me up inside, I try to hide them and I wonder why... I wonder why I'm still running when I know there's no escaping."

12. "Over My Head (Cable Car)" by The Fray. "Suddenly, I've become a part of your past..."

13. "Happily Ever After" by He Is We. "We all wanna know how it ends. Oh, happily ever after! Wouldn't you know, wouldn't you know? Oh, skip to the ending! Who'd like to know? I'd like to know! Author of the moment, can you tell me, do I end up, do I end up happy?"

14. "Two hands" by Jars of Clay. "I use one hand to pull you closer. The other to push you away."

15. "Echo" by Jason Walker. "I'm out on the edge and I'm screaming my name like a fool at the top of my lungs. Sometimes when I close my eyes I pretend I'm alright but it's never enough. 'Cause my echo, echo is the only voice coming back."

16. "Love Came Down" by Kari Jobe. "I am Yours, I am forever Yours."

17. "Wide Awake" by Katy Perry. "I wish I knew then, what I know now, wouldn't dive in, wouldn't bow down. Gravity hurts, you made it so sweet 'til I woke up on, on the conrete. Falling from cloud nine. Crashing from the high... Yeah I am born again, out of the lion's den, I don't have to pretend... Thunder rumbling, castles crumbling, I am trying to hold on. God knows that I tried seeing the bright side but I'm not blind anymore."

18. "Wonderwall" by Oasis. "I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now."

19. "Airplanes" by the Local Natives. "I love it all so much I call... I want you back! Back, back. You back..."

20. "Cubism Dream" by the Local Natives. "I make a friend, I make you sick. Could you even imagine a kiss? We joked at how they talked so differently. I spoke of how I felt so differently."

(The above kids must have an excellent Mat Kearney fan as a music teacher) 21. "Sooner or Later" by Mat Kearney. "Baby it's like we're walking on a wire through the fields. Take my hand, we'll get there."

22. "Begin Again" by Measure. "Begin again. You're no calendar, you're no concrete plan."

23. "Who Are You, Really?" by Mikky Ekko (yeah, it had to be a Doctor Who video for reasons). "We are the fire, we'll see how they run..."

24. "Like the Sun" by RyanDan. "Whenever you're close to me, you're like the sun."

25. "Alive (Mary Magdalene)" by Natalie Grant. "Who could speak and send the demons back from where they cmae with just one Name?"

26. "Gravity" by Sara Bareilles. "You're neither friend or foe though I can't seem to let you go. But one thing that I still know is that you're keeping me down."

27. "Superhero" by landon Austin and Luke Conard. "I may not be able to fly, but I'll tkae you on adventures. May not move at the speed of light but if you need me, I'll be there."

28. "Somewhere Only We Know" by Keane. "This could be the end of everything, so why don't we go somewhere only we know?"

29. "Say When" by The Fray. "You're in a song, playing in the background. All alone, but you're turning up now... I'm breaking down an dyou're breathing slowly. Say the word an dI will be your man."

30. "Breathe" by He Is We. "You know, I fake it oh so well... my words are less than parallel with my feet. You ask me what I need and all I really need is to breathe."

31. "Shoreline" by Deas Vail. "This give and take, this waiting on time..."

32. "Liar" by Edens Edge. "I should win an Oscar, the best actress in a show. You always see me smiling, little do you know..."

33. "Last Supper" by Edens Edge. "Look through each other like a piece of glass. Is that what happens when the years fly past? Lately I've been feeling like that."

34. "It's Time" by Imagine Dragons. "It's time to build from the bottom of the pit right to the top."

Friday, October 5, 2012

When You Can't Find Love, Love Finds You.

I am a really crazy (or, according to the kids at my church, craycray) romantic. Why do you think I write poetry and novels (songs as well, but usually not love-related)? I've been thinking about it a lot lately.

People ask me why I'm single. I ask them why they're even dating. I want my guy to actually be able to drive me to our dates, to be mature, and to have an idea what he is going to do with his life. I don't want to affect his growth negatively, spiritually or mentally. In your freshman year, relationships are usually not forever.  Sure, I know a couple who started dating when they were ten years old and are still together, now in the tenth grade. But that's only because they had really good taste in the fourth grade, I guess. But I'm not like that.

I have my eye on a guy for a long time before I even think about acting on it. Like, homecoming is killing me. No one wants to take me, except for my other friends who don't have have dates, and they're all seeking one. I might take my stuffed animal. Yeah. It's all good.

There is one guy I have my mind set on, though. He's one of the few people that I can find faults in them and actually be okay with them. He might be the only one. I can totally understand what he believes, his family is awesome, and well, he's not bad looking. But he's older (not by too much). And we're both kinda young--- neither of us are old enough for our drivers' license! And honestly, guys don't like me. They just don't. But that means more living for me. Better to be single and happy than single and heartbroken.

And when someone finally comes along... oh happy day.


"'Til then I'll patiently wait for you to come my way and I won't hesitate when you make your way right to my heart. For now I'll patiently wait for that sweet, sweet day when you take me away with you and our fairytale will start. 'Til then I'll patiently wait..."

Saturday, September 29, 2012

Spices and Herbs and Cloves, Oh My!

I love anything herbal, and I will talk about how to make herbal tea in the springtime. But for now, I am trying to stay healthy and prevent illness this school year.

They say your freshman year is your most important year of high school, even though colleges don't care much for it. I'm trying to have perfect attendance, up until Fine Arts. Especially since Math and Chinese are stupid. Even my English grade isn't good. I'm not failing any classes, but I wanted a 4.0 and I don't think it's gonna happen.

I noticed that my performance goes up whenever I have herbs in my system. Natural plants are also a great way to spice up your diet, lower blood pressure, lose weight, and much more!

WHY WE LOVE IT: What I love about this spice is that it can be used in both sweet and salty food, deserts, entrees and all. Popcorn, apples, bread, tea, hot chocolate--- you name it. From drinks to puddings to solids, cinnamon's got it all. But did you know it can help fight stress? Or strengthen your immune system? Lower your blood sugar? It's great.

HOWEVER: Pregnant women should avoid Cassia cinnamon. I'm guessing it can make you miscarry because it carries some toxins that can damage your kidney and liver. Cinnamon can also cause thinning of the blood, so if you are a Hemophiliac like my friend is, this will affect how your blood clots.


WHY WE LOVE IT: If you have stomachaches, diarrhea, or nausea, you will love this flower, too. It is great for treating menstrual cramps---and who doesn't love that---and sleep disorders caused by the commonly disliked PMS. Chamomile can also relieve you of gas! Going somewhere fancy? Drink some chamomile tea before you leave. It's also great on restless children and helps them calm down, mothers. Plus, your kids won't mind the taste.

HOWEVER: Chamomile can have a harmful effect on those taking blood-thinners, and can cause hemorrhage if you have a disease like that. Don't drink too much of it, it is like a drug after awhile and there will be puke. The plant has huge amounts of botulism, and babies might die if they have it. Give it to children ages five and up, I say. But medical people say above six months is alright as well.

WHY WE LOVE IT: This is a well-known sweet Italian seasoning. It is also THE most popular herb in America. I, personally, use basil when I make my not-so-world-famous salsa. It's probs my favorite herb as well. You can use it in marinara, soups (especially vegetable soup--- yeah baby), and my favorite--- PIZZA right after removing it from the oven. Aside from taste, you can clear up your skin with it, stop yo stress, make your PMS feel a little less like hell and a little more like heaven, detoxify your liver, and more.

HOWEVER: In some people, basil can cause low blood sugar. It also contains estragole, a chemical that can increase your risk of getting liver cancer. And don't use basil oil, for the same reason.


WHY WE LOVE IT: It adds a great amount of flavor to steak, potatoes, salads, etc. It is also very strong. Also helps with vaginal infections. It relaxes blood vessels and helps with blood flow-- probably good for pregnant women during labor. A garlic-rich diet can help protect you form cancer.

HOWEVER: Too much garlic can cause indigestion, but most of us are thinking about the odor it causes. We all have a garlic story. I had to sit next to someone on a plane for two hours who had eaten garlic, and it was rather painful. Not even uncomfortable. Just painful. For the both of us. To help with that, fennel seeds neutralize the smell.


WHY WE LOVE IT: Everyone loves lavender. I love the smell, the color, the taste. Everything about it. At homecoming this year I want to wear a lotion or perfume scented like it. I will at my prom, graduation, and wedding as well. And at my funeral, my corpse will be wearing lavender. If it were up to me, my name would be Lavender. Okay, that's a little much. I used to wear lavender lotion on my face when I was sick and it would clear me up. You can use it to fight dandruff, and face it, we all get flakes every once in awhile. Can stop bloating and improve digestion health. It might make you sleepy. Can calm itchy skin. And it tastes yummy for desert!

HOWEVER: When taken by mouth, lavender cna cause constipation. If you are a boy and haven't reached puberty, don't put it on your skin. It cna disrupt the hormones in your body. Some boys have grown boobs as a result. Stay on the safe side. Can also slow down the central nervous system.


WHY WE LOVE IT: It is great on sore throats, especially with some honey and hot cocoa. It is analgesic, antiseptic, antispasmodic, decongestant, and even more. Can cure migraines. It is an antioxidant. Can protect agianst prostate cancer, it looks like (I'm looking at this website that is literally typing out the periodic table... what? Haven't taken chemistry yet...). It keeps skin pure.

HOWEVER: Peppermint may cause an allergic reaction in some people. If you are pregnant (or plan to become pregnant, like they say ont he medical commercials), avoide this herb as it can make you miscarry according to some Chinese people. The herb can interact with Neoral, Sandimmune, etc.


WHY WE LOVE IT: Rosemary is a beautiful name, but that's not all! It cna soothe your muscle and safeguard your summer food. You cna make an herbal tea out of this as well, and maybe I'll try it and talk about it in a later post. This is great on your scalp, too. Use it to prep your steaks and burgers to mkae them a lot less carcinogenic, by up to 92 percent. Put it in your marinade. Smell some of this to prep for the next college exam, SAT, or simply just learn a few new words for Spanish class (I would say learning characters in Chinese, but then I remember most students don't take Chinese) as it helps with memory skills. It can help your muscles relax, so gymnasts, use this. Other sports too, but gymnastics directly relates to me, so.

HOWEVER: Prego girls, this might kill yo baby, too. We don't want no miscarriages, do we? And if you have epilepsy or other seizure disorders, this can make the seizures much worse.
Well, I'm off to bed, y'all. Sorry I haven't been posting much... I will write on here as often as humanly possible.