Come Home!

Come Home

I'm flying far away to be really free.
Tried hard to build myself independently.
It's hard to always do what you expect from me,
Saying:
Come home.
Oh,
Come home.
No, just
Come home.
No,
Come home.

I try to understand why it hurts you
To see a difference in our points of view.
Don't blame me for a thing that I didn't do.
Say:
Come home.
Oh,
Come home.
No, sayin'
Come home.
No,
Come home.

It's insane how feeling so much shame
Will only bring you pain
And I no longer know how to explain.
See,
I'm happy as can be
And you're my family,
My ground,
And I'm just hoping one day I will find...
You...

Oh, you're holding back the tears when you kiss me.
Smile smile when I'm back again as you see me.
When years are passing by and you miss me
You're saying:
Come home.
No, just
Come home.
That you
Come home...
No...
Come home.

Such a shame, you're feeling so much blame
And yet I'm still the same
And I no longer know how to explain.
See,
I'm grateful as can be
'Cause you're my family,
I'm bound,
And I'm just hoping one day you will shine...
Through...

Let's try to look at each other,
Find one another,
Asking
"How can it be?"
Fighting, losing each other
Thinking the other
Is not so much like me.
Finding out all that we see is just not always what is real
But you come home.
Oh,
Come home.
Just come home.
No...
Come home.
Come home.
No,
Come home.
Come home.
No...
Come home.
Come home.
No, just
Come home.
That you
Come home.
Oh...
Come home.
(repeat)

My turn to understand what you live through.
Today I only feel how I miss you.
So it's only fair when it's hard to bear and you ask if I...
(come home) I try...
(come home) I try...
To come home.
Oh, come home.

We Are Hungry...

No, I am not talking about that one worship song ("We are hungry, we are hungry, we are hungry for more of You. We are thirsty, oh Jesus..."). I'm really talking about food. I love food so much I asked for it for Christmas... help me.

Ever been so hungry, it was your last class period before lunch, and your stomach kept reminding you? That was me in STEM Foundations today. We didn't have advisory, so we were in class ten minutes longer. And guys, don't get me wrong, I love that class, but it drags on and on and on and on ("On and On" by Chasen = totally describes that class), maybe because it's my third period class which is normally right before lunch, unless I have Debate Team, then that makes thirty more minutes before lunch on Wednesdays.

So, I'm listening to some lecture on filmography, and this conversation started:

STOMACH: Me hungry. (plus: disgusting growl)
HOPE: Shh.
STOMACH: Me hungry... (growling again)
HOPE: Be quiet.
STOMACH: Hope, I'm hungry. (louder growl)
HOPE: Just wait five minutes until lunch...
STOMACH: Hope, you said "five minutes" five minutes ago... (bigger, louder growl)
HOPE: Aw dude, I hope no one in front of me hears this...
STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE (my very short friend): *Giggles*
HOPE: Brianna (Strawberry's real name), you didn't hear my stomach, did you?
STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE: *Hysterically laughing while nodding head, hoping no teachers will walk by, trying to be as quiet as what is possible*
HOPE: Come on clock, can you move any slower?
STOMACH: Me hungry!!! (LOOOOUUUD growl)
HOPE: Okay, seriously, stop it now.
STOMACH: FEED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (loudest growl that went on for like, ten seconds)
HOPE: SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah.... that was embarrassing. So like, I brought it up in sixth period today and me and Strawberry Shortcake were laughing and were like, "Me hungry! Feed me!" Not only was the growling embarrassing, but you didn't hear it... it sounded like I had freakin' diarrhea for Pete's sake! I didn't have diarrhea, but still... sounds are deceiving--- especially when they last for ten seconds! I mean, guys, it was nasty sounding. Living grodyness.

So, ladies, here's a tip: If you're hungry, don't sit behind your crush. I wasn't sitting behind a guy I like because I don't like any right now, but he is a friend of mine (Mister Crow) and already has weird suspicions about my odd stomach noises because one day in sixth period, I didn't eat a lot that day unless you count loads of ketchup on a chicken sandwich. Maybe that's a normal amount of food, but I'm one of those girls that has to sneak a snack into every class period... except for science. So, I had a headache and had my hand covering one eye, plus I started falling asleep for the second time that day. Then, my stomach was like, "Me hungry! You haven't fed me all day, you moron!" And he turned around. He kinda stared awkwardly for a moment as if he was hoping that noise wasn't me. And I was sitting there, hoping no one else heard that noise. Guys, I have one mean stomach that knows how to embarrass me. "Hope, are you feeling okay?" He asked. Second person to do that all day. The first time though... it was something different... I fell asleep in STEM Foundations.

If you hear a loud, thunder-like noise anywhere, it's probably my stomach...

This is Goodbye

"Goodbye,"
I said to you.
Those painful words making me cry
As I watched you fade away.
I wanted to love you
I wanted you to know
That no matter what
I'd still love you so
Forever.
So this is goodbye, I guess
And I shall run away from you
Like a handkerchief waving goodbye.

My Autumn Playlist

I didn't have time to post the recipe I invented, so here's what's playing on my iPod this season!

1. "Paradise" by Coldplay. Me and my friends were jamming to it at lunch when unexpectedly, while dancing, I accidentally shook my iPod and it shuffled. I screamed "NOOO!" and they said I looked like the Devil, no less the Baby of Shame.
2. "Christmastime is Here" by Vince Guaraldi Trio. This is the instrumental that Coldplay is attempting to play at the end of "Charlie Brown" and they failed that part epically.
3. "Charlie Brown" by Coldplay. Despite the failed attempt to play the above song, this song rocks! I love the "light a fire..." part!
4. "Every Teardrop is a Waterfall" by Coldplay. Love the lyrics.
5. "Major Minus" by Coldplay. I love the acoustic guitar, vocals, bass, guitar lead... Not sure what I like.
6. "Be My Escape" by Relient K.
7. "Desire" by Deas Vail. While waiting for the bus one day, I had just received the album and just as Laura started saying, "mm..." the bus pulled around the corner! I knew it would be a good day!
8. "Excuses" by Deas Vail. Forget the six month band thing. I hate this song, but at the same time I have to love it. Gosh, I miss band practices... Gosh, take me back to Phoenix already.
9. "For Those Who Wait" by Fireflight. Beautiful...
10. "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen" by Rascal Flatts. I like Christmas music--- don't be a hater!
11. "Make Your Move" by Third Day.
12. "Time" by Hans Zimmer. You know why this blasts on my iPod. I'm joining my school band if and when we get one, and this song is why I might do cello! However, I really wanna play the saxophone, so I Don't know...
13. "Who I Am Hates Who I've Been" by Relient K. 'I watched the perverbial sunrise coming up over the pacific end. You might think I'm losing my mind but I will shy away from the specifics.'
14. "The One I'm Waiting For" by Relient K. I love the 80s vibe it gives off!
15. "Common Sense" by Deas Vail. Only song that can make me sad and happy at the same time.
16. "Strawberry Swing" by Coldplay.
17. "Lovers in Japan" by Coldplay.
18. "Run Away" by Megan and Liz. It totally describes how I've been feeling in this beautiful season of autumn.

"We live in the shadow of the fall..."
-Selah, 'Unredeemed'.

Voiceover

Smile, hide your pain.
Laugh, hide your tears.
Walk, you're too strong to crawl.
Courageous, until you break.
                  This is how we live, this is how we strive
                  In this stupid world, who even wants to try?
                  Try to go on when there's nowhere to be,
                  Try to find a place when all you find is Hide-and-Seek.
                  All hide, no seek.
Put on a brave face, don't let 'em see your weakness.
Put your real self on a shelf and forget the gift you have...
                    Just a moment.
Release the pain in the flames of your heart.
Let the water flow out your oceanic eyes,
Let the signs of weakness pour out in the stream.
It's okay to cry, but we need to try,
Here I know I belong, though there's nowhere to be,
Hide-and-Seek, maybe I've found seek.
                        I can't do it alone, this I know,
                        I'm taking the love I can give...
              Give...
               It...
            Just...
                     One...
                  Moment...

Growing Pains

Growing Pains

What's a name
When in the darknes we all look the same
Holding candles, looking for the flame,
For the fire to chase the night away
As we wait for daylight to... break...?

What is life kept to ourselves,
Careful words composed?
It's a book upon the shelf, the story never told.

We are friends
Chasing photos of our happier days,
Clinging to the ones they can't erase.
Going on to find the perfect place
Where we can love each other.
We can find each other,
We can shape the world again!

Oh, What is life kept to ourselves,
Careful words composed?
It's a book upon the shelf, the story never told...
Pages turn and then unfold
To show us where we've been
As the signs along the road
To lead us home again.

I feel like I've been turned inside out.
I've come so far I can't turn around.
But I don't know the next steps to take
'Cause all you left were me and the growing pains.

WHAT IS LIFE kept to ourselves,
Careful words composed?
It's a book upon the shelf, the story never told...
Pages turn and then unfold
To show us where we've been
As the signs along the road
To lead us home again...
Oh, Oh..............

My Excuses for Not Blogging

Hey my bloggies! I have missed you guys so much! So, you may have already guessed why I was gone for so long because you probably already know. "Grades got you down?" Yes. "Love got you down?" Yes, yes, yes. BUT! I got the grades up, but sadly, my mom said no about joining the worship team this week because of how low my math grade was. Right before the end of the quarter, I just barely raised it to a C. In Social Studies I'm really good, but I just had to lose my binder that had all my assignments in it right before the end of the quarter. Seriously, guys... seriously? But don't worry, that's under control, too. Now I've got As, Bs, and Cs! Success!

Lately, life has been so competitive, like... I'm always running after something. Always trying to get there before someone else. I got Coldplay's "Mylo Xyloto" album the day it came out---again, success---and there's a song on it called "Major Minus" (I'm learning it on guitar by the way). It's a really fun song, sharp on the acoustic guitar, and here's some of the lyrics:

"They got one eye watching you
One eye on what you do
So be careful who it is you're talking to.
They got one eye watching you
One eye on what you do
So be careful what it is you're trying to do.
And be careful when you're walking into view.
Just be careful when you're walking into view.
OOH OOH OOH! OOH OOH OOH OOOH!
Got one eye on the road and one on YOU!
OOH OOH OOH! OOH OOH OOH OOOH!
Got one eye on the road and one on..."

Well that's me. Whenever I'm in competitive mode, it's BAD. I can't focus. And if I'm competing against you, oh boy, I'd hate to be you. At first I try to hide that we both want the same thing and I want it before you can reach it. Then I realize I don't like you. Then I try to hide that I don't like you. Then I realize that I don't care how you feel if I don't like you. Then I REALLY don't like you. Then I get the signs that you have a problem with me. Then I don't care about that either because that means I can openly have a problem with you. Then I get mean. So, "Major Minus" says one thing about me:

If we want the same thing and I see that you're a real opponent, I work my hardest to get up there, but I also have an eye on your progress. I've "got one eye on the road and one on you."

So yeah. That's my school life right now. Which is not so fun, because then, I go home to hear my dad yell, "HOMEWORK! DO YOUR HOMEWORK! HOPE, I KNOW YOU HEAR ME! I KNOW YOU HATE MATH (editor's note: Then he brings up how he hated math and ended up having a job centered around it)! YOU'RE GONNA NEED IT ONE DAY! I DON'T KNOW NO NEWS REPORTER WITH A BACHELOR OF ARTS THAT DIDN'T TAKE MATH IN COLLEGE! DEAL WITH IT!" And then after the math lecture I have to actually do the work, and by then it's eleven at night, and then I still have to take a shower, and then I still have a little bit of homework to finish, and by then it's at least 11:30 before I realize I haven't written a page of "Unspoken" or "On Death's Edge," I haven't thought up a single poem, I haven't looked up any new songs, I haven't dared to touch my guitar, and the blog has not been updated. And by then my mom is making me go to sleep, saying I'll be too tired in the morn.

Is that a legitimate reason for not blogging?