Sunday, August 17, 2014

Light-skinned Black Girl Problems

  1. "You act so white, it's like I'm blacker than you!" Um, no. No. Just no. I didn't know there was a code of conduct in order to be black.
  2. "What are you mixed with?" Nothing? This is a good question, but don't jump to conclusions. It IS possible to be fully black and have light skin.
  3. "But you don't look black AT ALL!" Would you like for me to show you my new growth? Because I am due for a relaxer touch-up any day now.
  4. "How would you know anything about the hood?" Because not all people who live there are dark-skinned? I don't actually live in the hood, but I have spent so much time in East Cleveland (and other cities like Atlanta and Chicago), you best believe I know as much (or more) about the hood as you do.
  5. "Are you sure you don't want to borrow my SPF 50?" Yes, I am light-skinned. No, I do not burn.
  6. "You look just like Rihanna!" Is this because we're both light-skinned?
  7. "Let me guess. I know what your ethnicity is! 你好! 我是美国人。你是中国人吗?" I know you did not just ask me if I'm Chinese.
  8. "So what if you can't play Tiana in the Disney parks? You could totally play Mulan!" You've got a good point...
  9. "I'm going to come back from Spring Break darker than you!" LOOK, I get it, there are white people darker than me, yeah. Moving on.
  10. "I don't think you're really black." Let me take you on a field trip to the plantation where my great-great-great grandfather was a slave.
  11. "I hear Asian parents have really high expectations." But I'm not... ah, forget it.
  12. "Why is your hair so short?" Because I'm black. Technically, black people (including my sisters) can have long hair, but it is a rare occurrence. Of course I'd be the only girl in my family with the inability to grow hair past shoulder-length.
  13. "Since you're light, you could probably stop getting relaxers." Tell that to my unruly curls.
  14. "If you were a slave, you would be treated very well." That is very comforting.
Those are some things I've faced being a light-skinned black girl! Did I miss anything?

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