Friday, May 31, 2013

Dress Modestly... But Why?

I just read an article on wearing bikinis to the beach. Click here to read it.

So, if you read it, basically the author talks about the sacrifices of dressing modestly. Totally agreeable. I mean, I have wanted to wear so many things that I knew would display me in a way that's less than favorable. One guy even said to me, "For someone who's not a slut, those shorts are really slutty." I was highly offended, angry even, because I usually cover up and the ONE day I wear shorts a little higher than mid-thigh, I am told that. When I wear yoga pants and black jeans every other day. I was like, geez. The other girls at school wear denim underwear and I can't just wear what I want to? It was frustrating.

I get nervous just by wearing tank tops or low-cut shirts. Keep in mind, I have no cleavage to show anyway. However, I like wearing them because it actually makes it look like I do have a slightly bigger bust. Also, they're slimming and they show off most of my back. So why did I say I get nervous about wearing them? It makes me feel like I just need to put a hoodie on. I don't have issues with other people wearing them because it doesn't bother me. So why don't I?

Everyone has a different standard of modesty, and for the most part, that's okay. I don't like to wear bathing suits (don't get me started on that black one from the end of seventh grade... twelve years old and already having to buy from the women's section? I should have been wearing cutesy ones with pink bows!), but I'm not gonna start a rally and tell my friends not to wear them. That's their choice! What they want to wear is their deal, eh?

Another thing about modesty (probably the most important thing): Why should you be modest? Who are you doing it for? Some say, "so that guys won't be tempted." I guess that's a valid reason, and most of the reason behind the aforementioned article. My issue?

It goes both ways. Yes, men are more visual. Yes, they can be tempted. But last I checked, girls can be as well. But I don't know, maybe I don't know enough about my own gender. However, I gotta be honest about something.

If lust is on both sides of the pizza roll (I've been obsessed with them lately...), then why does 95% of the school dress code only apply to girls? None of the guys at my school would wear a spaghetti strap tank top. They wouldn't wear tight spandex shorts (some are bikers, but that's justifiable). The only thing they can't do is wear a hat... and they probably can't walk in shirtless, either.

But outside of school, they and girls alike are free to wear whatever they want. I cannot wear the cute dress I wanted (wearing it around the house is useless, some people don't understand that) but the hot guy across the street mowing his lawn, with muscles and everything, is not tempting at all. AT ALL. Nope.

And trust me, as a girl, I must say that it is definitely on both sides of the spectrum. But it's not all about how much clothing you're wearing. Sometimes people's thoughts go there anyway.

So, I wouldn't say that I dress modestly to help guys out. I think that for one, they're gonna stare or imagine anyway (just like females). I also think that they have enough self-control to be mature and either look the other way or... I don't know, RESPECT THE GIRL.


This does NOT grant permission to walk around looking like you tried to squeeze into a toddler's skirt. Have some decency. To me, having your boobs hang out is not attractive at all. It makes me wanna give you my beloved hoodie. I don't give that hoodie to just anyone. Either you're having a wardrobe malfunction (and this is a serious wardrobe malfunction) or you just don't get it. Congratulations. You are a poor unfortunate soul.

If you have a Tumblr account (changed my URL to princessababwa), or even just on the Internet often, you've probably seen images of half-naked girls with signs saying "Still not asking for it." Yesterday, I even saw one of a girl wearing one of those pale-skin-colored tops (so basically showing ALMOST everything on her torso) and saying, "Still not asking for it!"

I don't even know where to begin about these. I know they are talking about rape. Don't get me wrong: RAPE IS WRONG AND THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR IT. But... just because you can dress revealing almost everything, doesn't mean you should. This is where dressing modestly for men kinda comes in. I know I am contradicting myself.

Just like my thing about the hot guy across the street (who is imaginary). He may not be asking for it, but I'm like, "Ooh. That's my babaaaaaaaaayyyyyy!" So, ladies. Let's make a scenario.

You walk in the club that does not have strippers with all your girls. Well, if you wanna imagine strippers, you can, but I don't wanna be held responsible for that. Y'all are wearing some interesting clothes. SO interesting, you are nearly mistaken to be a stripper. You notice men staring at you. You know why. They say...

And you say, "I know what you were imagining!" You are surprised at their impressive quoting (though he didn't get it quite right... it doesn't say "pretty little neck," says something else) of The Hunchback of Notre Dame, your favorite Disney film (from the Renaissance, anyway). However, you refuse to stoop down to their level. "Let's go, Fifi" you say to one of your girls. "Lacey, Renee, Tiana, Lilo, Elphie--- let's go. These men have NO respect for a woman's body."

Now, I'm not saying we (yes, we. I'm invited to this girl's night out, right? It was my idea!) were asking for it but... either way, these men have absolutely no respect for us. And why, exactly? We didn't do anything wrong! We just came here to get some virgin pina coladas and this happened.

Now, this is a tricky scenario. I guess both are at fault. Men: respect women. Women: respect yourselves. I know a lot of guys (pretty much all the guys I know) that would not date a girl who didn't respect her own body and cover it up. Nobody wants to see that... well, I guess some people wanna see that, but if they're worth keeping, they probably won't want to (or try to control the fact that they want to).

However, do not get me wrong. When it comes to rape, there is NO excuse. I am not saying that it is anyone's fault for being sexually assaulted, because people should have enough self-control to ignore the temptation. No matter what the gender.

But my opinion on immodest attire? I think it's kinda important to show that you're not that easy to get. That even if you get desperate for someone, you will not make yourself a giant display of sex. If you respect your body, more and more people will as well. And believe me, it's worth it.

I have had no boyfriends. No guys have liked me. As an incoming sophomore, most of the people in my grade have dated at least one person. But I will never get so desperate for a boyfriend that I will have to turn to making guys lust after me. Sure, if I get a crush on a guy I might dress up a little, but still keeping modesty in mind (for the most part). I want to be seen as someone with high standards, not a girl who will take any apple that falls from the tree. After all, some apples have worms. I'll take discoloration, I'll take dents, though.

Everyone has a different view of what's modest. Some people have more things to cover up, some have less. A lesson everyone can learn is, this is a two-way thing. Not just girls, not just guys.

We're all in this together.

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