Fifty Shades of "Nah, Bruh"

I don't even want to talk about this, but I feel that as a Christian blogger (although I identify as a fandom blogger), I should at least subtly mention this movie. Be prepared for a Rated R post.

You know which one I'm talking about. The one that came out today...

Yeah. The first movie for the Fifty Shades trilogy, or whatever the official name for the book series is.

I've tried to avoid it, but after marking up several copies of Fifty Shades of Grey at my library for discharge (people have been damaging them left and right-- someone stole the first like, 20 pages of one of the copies), I felt like I just couldn't escape the madness. And I'll have you know that I literally had to wash my hands after dealing with any of the E.L. James books. I mean, who knows where they've been?

Anyway. Enough about my adventures as a volunteer dealing with books that could quite possibly be stained by some old man's semen.

Aside from the fact that the plot seems like it came straight from some person's wet dream and had no editing after (I didn't read the whole book, but I have friends who have, and the writing is not quality), I feel that as a Christian and as a normal citizen of the world, I should be speaking out against it.

I am not saying that sex should be treated as taboo; I'd rather my future children learn about sex than see people getting blown up. And I am not saying that those who enjoy BDSM should be shamed. However, this entire franchise is just... disgusting. Even members of the BDSM community agree.

Christian Grey and Anastasia's relationship is just flat-out abusive, and it's even mentioned that he has a control problem. Like, why would you want to be with a man like that?

Here are some excerpts:

"'No,' I protest, trying to kick him off. He stops. 'If you struggle, I'll tie your feet, too. If you make a noise, Ana, I will gag you.'"

"Alaska is very cold and no place to run. I can track your cell phone-- remember?" (Creep.)

"You need to learn to manage my expectations. I am not a patient man."

Yeah, sure. It's so romantic.

First of all, I believe that whatever one does in bed is a private matter, and I don't support this series for the same reason I don't have any porn sites in my Internet history. What two partners do is their business and no one else's. Okay?

I also do not support porn (and this), because of consent. You're doing BDSM? Not my thing (I mean, sex isn't really my thing at all at the moment, but...), but okay. It's consensual? High five! It's not consensual? No high fives for you. 

Oh, and disclaimer: I am not speaking for all Christians in this post. I'm sure many would speak out against BDSM, but I just don't have a stance on it, so long as it's consensual.

I feel that these books portray what sex is not. Sex is about mutual consent. It's about love. It's not about whatever this is.

It seems that this movie has already done pretty well at the Box Office, unfortunately. But please, for the love of God, do not give it your money.

"...Whatever other commandments may be are summed up in this one rule: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' Love does no harm to its neighbor..."

-Romans 14: 9-10