Monday, November 10, 2014

The Realization of Growing Up

When I was younger, all I wanted was to grow up. I wanted to start high school. To get my driver's license. To get a boyfriend. To get into National Honor Society. To turn eighteen. To move out of the house. To get married. To have my own children.

Now that I'm older, I am facing the sudden realization that things are actually happening, and the ones that haven't happened will probably happen soon. I'm almost done with high school. I will have a driver's license this spring, most likely. I just turned in my application for my first job. I am getting inducted into NHS next month. Now, I still don't have a boyfriend, and I can't vote in the presidential election until 2020 (I literally JUST miss election day in 2016... thanks to having a November birthday). But aside from marriage, it's all starting to happen.

Don't get me wrong, growing up is exciting. But anyone who has been my age before (which it is likely that you are older than me) knows how this feels. People keep asking me where I want to attend college and what I want to study. Which, I have a pretty solid idea for both, but it's still frustrating. It's finally getting to me that 2015 is going to be the year that determines a lot of things for me. I'll turn in my application for Northwestern. I'll audition for NYU Steinhardt School of Music. I'll audition for a lot of roles, and probably won't get most of them. I'll have to utilize the piggy bank (or, as I call him, Piglet). Everything is changing.

As much as I want to stay the little girl who is a few weeks shy of her sixteenth birthday forever, times are gonna have to change. It's kind of like the song "Sky" by Goose House.

"I wished upon the sky in a dazzling starlight for you to please stay the same as you are. But I know that even the sky I gaze will change in every way."

Entering adulthood is a scary process. It seems far away until it finally dawns upon you that it's less than two years away (for most of my friends, it's a few months away). But even though the changes seem abrupt at first, they shape us into who we are.

And that's how I'm going to end this post, because I can't think of a better way to do so.

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